Looking Forward and Setting New Goals

As I sit down to write this I can see how far I've come and yet the next part of this journey may prove to be even more challenging. I come to you today to share my success and my failures. On March 6, 2014 I started Isagenix. Around the same time I joined what's called the IsaBody Challenge. This is a 16 week challenge to inspire achieving your goals and a chance to win prizes. I completed this challenge as of last night. In four months, I lost 35 lbs and a total of 23 inches. I planned on adding exercise, but never did quite manage it. So, this release of weight was done without adding fitness.

I dutifully had my husband take my "after" pictures and naturally needed to compare them to the before pictures from March. I'm nervous to post these because there's so much of me in them, but I'm the queen of the over-share so why stop now?

Before and After Photos from March 2014 and June 2014

There you have it. My successes! I am quite proud of myself for sticking it out, but this next leg of the journey I want to make even more changes. Lately, I've done a lot of self-reflecting and I have more willpower and determination that I ever imagined. However, I can see where I really need to put in some serious effort to make lasting changes. My issues with food are far from over. I'm sure my weight loss would have been even more astounding had I managed to better deal with my emotional eating.

I started a new IsaBody Challenge last night. This time I am focusing more on energy and performance than weight loss. Obviously, my ultimate goal is still weight loss, but I need to change my overall focus. This challenge will run until October 18, 2014 and over the next four months I plan to work on my emotional eating as well as getting fit. I've already started a fitness class that I will be doing twice a week for 11 weeks (possibly longer). As for the emotional eating I will be working on awareness and finding new ways to work with my emotions. It took years to develop my emotional eating and it's going to take time to replace bad habits with good ones. I believe support, awareness, and creating a new reward system will be the keys to success in this next part of my journey.

The biggest help to achieving any goal is having a great support system! I'd love to hear about your weight loss journey or struggles with emotional eating. Feel free to contact me anytime! 

A New Adventure

So, I recently mentioned that I was starting a new fitness regime. Here is a video of some of what I'll be doing with Primal Strength Systems.

Last night was my first class with Primal Strength Systems. As with any new thing you try I was nervous upon arriving. I parked where I thought I should park but later discovered a parking lot right next to the training area. As I got closer to the training area (which is on a school football field) I realized all of the other participants were men, except for the instructor's girlfriend. I was quite relieved that she was there! It turns out she was only there this one time.

We started by running from one line to the next and back. We were to do this 10 times. My first lap I kept up, but as each lap continued I fell further and further behind. Everyone waited for me to finish before continuing on which was really nice.

We did some stretches and then push ups and body squats. I managed to do 6 real pushups and 4 knee pushups. I rock the squats! So, at least I've got that!

We did lunge walks which are simple and seem easy until you have to do a few laps of them. Then we did bear crawls. This was horrendous but completely effective! I was practically crawling to the finish line. We followed this with a crab crawl but all I could manage was a scuttle on my rearend. I did another bear crawl instead. After all the bear crawls I was feeling quite nauseous but I persevered.

We did a series of front squats of varying levels. I managed to front squat with the 50 lbs bag and also with a rock that's heavier than it looks. There were heavier front squat options that some of the others did. After the front squats we moved onto pulling the sled. The sled is this weight rack of sorts with a rope tied to one end. I had to take both ends of the rope over my shoulder and pull the sled from one line to the next. Again this seems super easy but it's not. Although once you get your momentum it gets better.

We also did inverted rows on three types of ropes. I did okay with the rings but it's definitely a challenge. Do you remember gym class and having to try to climb the rope? Yup, that's one of the ropes. I could barely pull myself up with my feet on the ground. Then I tried with a smaller rope that you take an an end in both hands and this was a little better.

I impressed myself with the shoulder presses. Again we had different options of varying difficulty. I started with the rock. Then I wanted to try the "log" and the keg. I managed to do 4 presses on each. I got a little cocky with the keg until the water inside of it shifted and made the whole exercise a lot more challenging.

We finished with loaded walks. I did two of the three variations. I started with the 75 lbs bag and immediately fell on my duff. It was funny. I tried again and the instructor helped me get it on my shoulder so I could move it to the front of my arms and then walk with it from one line to the next and back. I also carried a keg that was heavier than the one I used for the shoulder press.

I may have missed a few things, but you get the general idea. So, first off I am proud to say I didn't throw up even though I really thought I would. Second I stuck it through to the end and believe me there were moments I wanted to give up. Everyone was really great at encouraging each other not to give up. I'll finish by saying that you should see a whole new me in 11 weeks because this is kick your ass kind of exercise! I'm also starting to wonder if I enjoy torturing myself because I'm going to be doing this twice a week...

I Once Was Blind....

As you know I've been following the Isagenix program and I've lost some weight. I've lost 35 lbs to be exact! The thing is I haven't felt like I've really lost that much. That is until I came across some pictures from my birthday last November.

I guess being so big for so long I still see myself as 35 lbs heavier even though I know I've lost this weight. And a big part of that is also because I've struggled along the way. I have to constantly remind myself that I didn't gain an extra 100 lbs overnight by creating good habits. It's going to take time for me to develop better habits. I made it this far and haven't included regular exercise (although it's always on my to do list).

I've decided to show you what I can finally see. Although, I admit that this is really difficult for me to put out to the vast interweb. I feel like I need to. I need to show you the progress I've made. If only to record this moment in time for myself.

I've still got a long way to go, but I'm going to give myself this moment in time to just be proud of myself for getting this far.

Way to go me! 

Birthday pictures from November 2013 compared to Progress pictures June 2014

This is what I've accomplished in 3 months. My next three months my focus will be more on getting fit. I've signed up for some super intense training. I'm really excited and completely terrified, but I'll share more about my new fitness regime soon! 

Ground Hog Day

Well, it looks like I've gone and done it again. I've left you all hanging. I think I've figured it out though (by it I mean me). Do you remember the old adage "if you don't have anything nice don't day it at all"? I haven't had a lot of nice things to say lately so I've kept to myself. In fact, I haven't spent a lot of time on social media either.

I have to say the past couple of years have really grown and stretched me. I've learned a lot about myself and my goals. There's still a long way to go, but honestly who can say they're finished? Have you accomplished your perfect self? Yeah, I didn't think so. We're works in progress and under construction.

All of this to say....

Hieeeeeeeeeeeeee!

If you've kept up with Being Elle at all, you may remember that I started a program called Isagenix on March 6. Through this process I've given up my favoritest thing in the whole wide world. No, not my kids....I gave up coffee. I've had one cup at a family dinner at the beginning of May, but other than that, no coffee. I dropped it cold turkey too. It's funny, when it's the right time to do something it can be extremely easy. I don't have any explanation as to how I've done it short of it was the right time and this is coming from a now former coffee junkie.

Okay, so here it goes...the good, the bad and the ugly.

When I started this journey on March 6, 2014 I weighed 267 lbs. This is the heaviest I've ever been and it scared the hell out of me. (I may have gone up to 270 but I hadn't weighed myself regularly.) After my first month following Isagenix I lost 20 lbs. It was fantastic.

And then I hit an emotional wall. I still maintained my weight and lost a pound here and there, but I really wasn't following the way I wanted to. What I did do, however, was reach out to my Isagenix team for support and while I still struggled it definitely helped get me on the right track. I'm overweight for a reason. I didn't put this weight on with good eating habits now did I? And I certainly didn't put this weight on overnight. I need to cut myself a little slack and just keep trying.

As of this morning, I have lost 33 lbs! I've reached one of my biggest goals which was to get below 235 lbs. I was at 235 lbs for a long time until I got pregnant with my daughter (who's almost 7 years old). Now, I've got to work on my self image. I still see myself as 267 lbs. Losing 33 lbs doesn't feel like very much, and yet - it's 33 lbs!

I'm so very thankful for the people around me who support me and encourage me along the way. My family definitely deserves a prize for putting up with me! I think what scared me the most was when people started telling me I was an inspiration to others. Who? Me? No way! Now, I am completely an extrovert, so my reaction was a surprise to me. I've always wanted to be an inspiration to others, but to actually be an inspiration was and is totally terrifying. I think that's why I decided to come out of social media hiding and start sharing my journey again. It's like I'm Punxsutawney Phil poking his (or in my case her) head out. I'm not going to let my shadow scare me back into hiding even with whatever bumps and bruises I may run into along the way. I'm here to stay.

We're getting a group together to do a 30 day challenge to get ready for summer. If you're at all interested I invite you to email me or check out the Facebook page Summer Ready in 30 Days. There's a great group of people to support you!

What have you got to lose other than pounds and inches?

* Enroll with a 30 Day Isagenix Cleansing and Fat Burning System (or equivalent) or have equivalent system on hand prior to May 31 (to start June 2) or June 5 (to start June 9) - you must have active membership. Takes 2 to 3 days to receive product.*

Mental Spring Cleaning

So, I know it's been a couple of weeks since my last update. I sorta got stuck in my own head. I'd been feeling really weighed down by negative thinking. So, I retreated into myself and too stock of where my head was at. 

What I found was that March was a month of changes. I stopped drinking coffee, started eating healthy with the Isagenix program and I started blogging again. I kept myself so busy that what I really want got tangled up with a bunch of other things. 

It's taken me a couple of weeks to work through all of this. I did some mental spring cleaning and figured out what really matters to me versus what I do out of obligation. Once I sorted through the clutter I could clearly see where I want to go from here. 

Through this process I missed a couple of weeks of church and last week I felt like I had to go. I'm so glad that I did. The sermon spoke right to my heart. I totally cried. I talked with a number of friends and a couple of them prayed with me. I left feeling a lot lighter. I forget how cathartic tears can be. 

I think today's been the first really mentally clear day that I've had in a few weeks. I'm so thankful to have the support system that I do have. 

In other news, today marks my 37th day on Isagenix. To date I've lost 22.5 lbs and 12 inches. My clothes are now way too big for me which is both awesome and super annoying. I've got to look into getting some in between clothes. 

I'm excited about the future again. I can't wait until I'm ready to share my dream with the world! 

Have a fantastic weekend! 

Isa Update - Day 11

Good afternoon! What an amazing day. It's a beautiful and chilly day outside. For those of you keeping track. Today is Day 11 on the Isagenix program. It's also my 11th day without coffee! Day 11 is the first official weigh and measure day since starting the program.



I've lost 12.5 lbs and 8 inches!

I am so happy! This has been such a great journey so far and it's only been 11 days! I have so much energy. My positivity is at an all time high. And let's face it. It feels so good to say I've lost 12.5 lbs!

Friday I did my first cleanse day. It was quite challenging. I did okay for most of the day. The real challenge was feeling hungry through the evening. Thankfully, a friend called and I went to visit her which helped occupy my mind.

Saturday I learned something that totally amazes me. I had my usual shake for breakfast, a.m. snack, shake for lunch, p.m. snack and then I went to my small group for a potluck dinner. Here's what I've learned from this experience. Number 1...don't plan a cleanse day before a potluck (maybe cleanse days should be the day after a potluck). Number 2...eating a little of everything would have been enough. I guess the combination of feeling deprived for a day and a lot of really good food was just too much temptation. Number 3...being overfull changed my entire mood. I wasn't bouncy anymore. I was left feeling lethargic and ho-hum. Thankfully, today I am right back on top of things and feeling amazing. But seeing how my whole being was totally off after such a big meal really opened my eyes to what I've been doing to myself all these years. That is what amazes me. That I could see the difference so quickly and so thoroughly.

I'm off to enjoy my shake for lunch and run some errands before I get to making a beautiful dinner for my family and a guest tonight. So, have a great day! I'll see y'all tomorrow!

And for you parents out there...March Break is OVER! Yes! WOOT! Kids are back to school tomorrow! I don't know about you, but my kids NEED to get back into their normal routine.

Happy End of March Break!

A Thankful Heart

I had an amazing day yesterday! I woke up to find I've lost 3 lbs this week! I managed to revamp Being eLLe and finally get my post up. A little later I received word that I'm finally getting a regular job with my husband's cleaning company. I'll be working 2.5 hours daily from Monday - Friday and 5 hours on Saturdays.

It has been such a struggle to wait for God's timing in this. Looking back I can see where God nudged me to get through my struggles. Seeing forward is a mystery to me and so hard to trust that everything will work out when I can't see the way through. God can see the path clearly and after a day like yesterday I am so thankful and beautifully reminded of God's love for me even when I am afraid.

Oh, in case you're wondering, yes, I'm quite pleased to have any job right now, especially one that works with my family. I haven't given up on my career, I'm still trying to discern what's next for me in that department. That's a whole other post that I will get to soon.

For now I'm just happy that I'll be working again and that I'll be contributing financially to my household.

I hope you all have an amazing weekend full of God's richest blessings!

Waiting for the Motivation Train

Good Morning People. Wow! It's been a long time since I last posted. In fact it's been a month and 10 days! This post is way overdue.

Let me start by saying

Hello, Old Friend! I've missed you. How've you been?

Well, I've had a month of ups and downs. In September I hurt my wrist biking. It rained almost every day in September and killed my biking motivation. Add to that my two oldest kids are in school full time. It's been an adjustment period for the whole family. I think we've finally worked out a routine that for the most part works.

Last week I finally found a routine that works for me at home. With winter around the corner I know I'm not going to go outside to exercise. I came across a link from About.com that has a circuit of calisthenic type cardio exercises. They're simple, but effective and I'm completely out of breath after 10 minutes. You can't go wrong doing froggy jumps and prisoner squats. =)

Yes, for now I'm only doing about 10 minutes of cardio and then I hit the weights for about 25 - 45 minutes depending on which day I'm on. I've got 4 work out days. I've been at it for two weeks and managed to work out twice the first week, three times last week. This week the plan is to complete all 4 work out days. 

A friend of mine sent me this blog post that really struck a chord with me. It's all about the Myth of Motivation. How so often people have false starts and a lack of motivation to stick to it. If this is you I highly recommend taking a few minutes to read it.

Here's a little exerpt:
 So if you find yourself sitting at the train stop waiting for the motivation train, I’m here to pass along the memo that train has been canceled and it never really led anywhere in the first place. Do it because it needs to be done. It’s like brushing your teeth, it’s not optional if you want to keep all of your original teeth in your head. Don’t make your health optional or dependent on anything as fleeting as motivation. 

Since I read this article I've been scheduling workouts into my day and making a point of doing them. I'm not saying I've found some surefire cure to my workout plan. So far this is working and maybe not relying on motivation is the key to actually sticking to it. It's no longer a choice, it's a necessity.

Although I would like to mention that since August 7th I have lost 9 lbs. I've joined a group of women in a bet to lose 10 lbs in 2 months and to keep it off for another 2 months. It starts today and the goal date is December 18th.

Wish me luck!

Rant - Sporting Goods Stores

Today marks Day 3 of getting healthy. I've been doing okay for the most part but not great. I ended up eating junk late last night and while still in my calorie range it definitely wasn't healthy or helpful. I'm not giving up. I know this is my umpteenth try at getting healthy and losing weight but if I don't try I'll never get there. 

I'm ticked off. I know that I'm a large woman. Scratch that. I know I'm fat. I also know that I'm not the only fat person in the world, let alone the city of Ottawa. So, why is it that stores that sell sports clothing do not carry anything larger than L or XL? (At least not in the women's sections.) Like come on! How are people who are struggling to lose weight and get healthy supposed to feel when they can't find anything to work out in? At times it can be a setback. 

I have a bike again and I'd really like to find some bike shorts. Apparently, that's not going to happen until after I've already lost all my weight. Thanks..that's helpful. I'm going to check out a few more stores, and at this point I don't even care if they're men's or women's bike shorts. In fact it's not even just bike shorts. Try and find any decent athletic wear for someone larger than an XL, it's next to impossible.

You know what else bothers me? That fat people are made to feel even worse when they finally do something about their weight. Now, I know some of it is our own insecurities, but not always. You walk into a sporting goods store and no one offers to help you. Walk into a supplement store and they practically scoff at you. It's like "Hello! I know I'm fat. Don't you think if anyone should be here it's me?" I just find this utterly ridiculous.

I get very self-conscious when I workout. I find it very hard to go into public to workout. Going for walks is the worst, because I find myself looking at the people running by thinking they're judging me. I've seen a few looks to prove that theory although I admit a lot of the time it's mostly just me judging me. 

I find it easier with biking. I'm not in the same spot for long and I enjoy it so much I usually don't think about being the fat girl on a bike. I'm hoping to start biking this weekend. I overdid it the first day out with my seat in the wrong position. As you can imagine...that led to a problem sitting back down on my bike seat. For now I am letting myself heal before starting up again. I'm hoping to log a lot of miles this summer.

Here's a picture of my bike and helmet:

How I kicked my own butt....

Image via Wikipedia

So, I've managed to keep my momentum since my last update. Monday I had to work in the office, but brought a healthy lunch and actually ate it instead of buying something. I even went with a lower calorie coffee from Starbucks. 

It's still early on, but I've managed to work out 3 days in a row. I've also managed something else "new". I've eaten only one bowl/plate of food and I haven't binged on anything. Again, I know, it's still early on, but I'm very proud of myself for the progress I've made so far. 

I decided to do cardio one day and weight training the next and keep alternating. Since, I went for a walk/jog on Sunday that meant Monday was a weight training day. As usual an obstacle came up to try and deter me from my path. I burned my left hand while making supper. It hurt so badly I was calling it quits, but my amazing husband went out to "get the paper" and came home with some burn cream. I watched House and then decided I could do my lower body weight training instead of the upper body training I'd had planned. 

My quads still hurt from these:

Dumbbell Squats (Q) with two 5 lbs weights 4x12

Dumbbell Sumo Squats (Q) with one 10 lbs weight 4x12

These exercises are so simple, yet very difficult:

Dumbbell Lunges (H) with two 5 lbs weights 4x12

Straight-leg Dead Lifts (H) with two 5 lbs weights 4x12

I already have fairly strong calves so I didn't do as many sets on my calves:

Standing Calf Raises (C) 2x12

One Leg Calf Raises (C) L-1x12 R-1x12

We had a family crisis at the end of my workout so I didn't do more, although I'm not sure I could have managed more my first time out. I did something right since my abs hurt today:

Crunches (A) 3x12

Bent Knee Leg Raises (A) 2x12

After my workout and my family crisis was over I laid down on the couch and promptly passed out cold. I woke up at 2:30 am and went to bed. It was the best sleep I've had in a long time.

Today's workout was supposed to be walk/jog again but it snowed here in Ottawa which later turned to rain. I considered going outside anyway, but looked up heavy bag routines. I came across this 30-30-30 routine and boy did it kick my butt. 

The first 30 seconds you hit the heavy bag with regular speed. The second 3 seconds is the hardest because you have to be quick. You lift your knees and hit the bag while rotating around it. All this is done as quickly as possible and with your knees as high as possible. The last 30 seconds is knockout punches - hit the bag as hard as you can. Rest time in-between sets can vary anywhere from 1 minute to 15 seconds depending on the workout you're looking for. 

I used my Cardio Trainer App on my phone to determine the 30 seconds. I'm not sure how many full sets I did. When I grew too tired of keeping this up I improvised and went between the three types of heavy bag exercises as I could handle. I started to get really out of breath and a stitch in my side so I ran/walked forward 4 steps and backwards 4 steps. I kept the last but up for about 5 minutes. I lumped this in as aerobics and my total workout was about 20 minutes. 

Date:      Tuesday Apr.27, 2010 06:36 pm
Distance:      1.14 mi
Duration:      00:21:46
Exercise Type:      Aerobics

Right now I'm trying to focus on building a decent routine, one that is reasonable that I can stick to. I feel good about this fresh start, but I've said that before. Well, I'm off to bed - g'night. 

Early Morning

Image by drocpsu via Flickr

Sigh...it's 5 a.m. No way am I getting up. Oh Laura...you should get up and go for a walk. Nope, I'm going back to sleep. Sigh...you're up now might as well get up and go. I need clothes...got them. Hmm, where's my sweater? It's so dark in here...stupid phone won't stay lit so I can see. Can't find it, gonna check downstairs. Okay...I'm going...as soon as I find my sweater...oh wait breakfast. Ugh! Drinking hideous Slim-Fast shake...ugh! That's gross. Now, where is that sweater...not the main level or basement...back all the way upstairs....nope...Okay get your shoes on dummy. You do this every time. You focus on one thing and when that doesn't work out you just don't go....Oh, just grab any sweater from the laundry room...Wait...what's this? HELLO sweater! I've been looking for you. I didn't even know you ended up in the laundry. Okay, shoes - check...Ready to go....

Well I did it. I went for a walk this morning. I can barely believe it! I went for 30 minutes. I feel pretty good that I accomplished something. I admit before I even made the half way mark I wanted to turn around and go back to bed, but I marched on. I didn't go as far as I'd have liked, but that will come with getting out on a regular basis. For now my goal is just to get out there at least 3 times this week.

Date: Wednesday Apr.14, 2010 05:23 am

Distance: 1.86 mi

Duration: 00:29:52

Day 2 - Completed

Good evening! Well, I didn't think I'd make it. Every time I decided that's it I'm going to go I procrastinated or something came up with the kids. Finally, Ben all but kicked me out of the house and told me to just go. So, I did and I feel so much better too! I was all grumpy before I went but now I feel great.

I ran for about 6 minutes total because my shins and feet were hurting badly. I`m going to have a look at New Balance this weekend to see if I can pick up a new pair of runners. I went to the New Balance website and did their Total Fit Test. I think I found a pair of shoes.The price is right and their pretty!!

Day 2: Here's your workout for today: Start with a 5-10 minute warm-up walk. Run 1/1 x 10. (Run 1 minute, walk 1 minute, ten times, for a total of 20 minutes.) Finish with a 5-10 minute cool-down walk. This is the same workout you did yesterday, so you can definitely do it!

Trackname:
Date:	Wednesday Mar. 17, 2010 18:58 pm
Distance:	1.92 mi
Duration:	00:30:32
Exercise Type:	Running

Day 1 - Completed!

Completed Day 1: Let's Get Started

Today's run: Start with a 5-10 minute warm-up walk. Run 1/1 x 10. (Run 1 minute, walk 1 minute, ten times, for a total of 20 minutes.) Finish up with a 5-10 minute cool-down walk. Remember to take it easy and don't worry about your pace at all.

Okay, so in reality I walked for 10, ran 1 minute, walked 1 minute for 10 minutes and then walked for the rest which ended up being another 17 minutes. My lower back really hurt, but I endured. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be able to do a little more. For now I'm just excited that I set out to get out there and I actually did it!

Trackname:	Day 1
Date:	Tuesday Mar. 16, 2010 15:46 pm
Distance:	2.4 mi
Duration:	00:37:29
Exercise Type:	Walking (with a little running)

Spring has Sprung!

Hello Spring! How I've missed you!

Isn't it wonderful? The days are brighter, the weather is warmer, the snow is almost gone and it hasn't even been slushy! Can you believe it's already the middle of March?! It feels like waking up from the darkness of despair and coming out into the light of life!

With the nice weather comes the urge to get out and get some exercise. Last night we all went for a walk after

dinner. It wasn't a very fast walk or very far but it was nice to be outside and spend time together as a family.

This weekend was super productive, I realize now I must have been spring cleaning without meaning to. We've had a lot of trouble getting Riley to sleep over the past month. Seems to be since she got sick in February first with the flu then with a cold. It got to the point even if she woke in the middle of the night she refused to go back to bed.

Friday night was bad, I thought I'd finally worked out a new routine with her, but she woke at 3 am and started freaking out when I wanted her to go back to sleep. It was then I realized the real problem and that's the neighbors. They're young and were having a party. It wasn't a loud party by any real standards, but Riley's room is right above the front door. So, Saturday I set out to switch Riley's room with my office and she's slept well ever since! She loves her new room and even plays in it. In the process I organized my office which in itself is HUGE!

Well, as you know it's March. October is only 7 months away. That means I've got 7 months to get in shape for the CIBC Run for the Cure 2010! Check out my donation page. I'm not sure when they switch everything over to a new year, but I'm already preparing. So, to get started I'm going to follow an About.com program 3 Weeks to a 30-Minute Running Habit.

Day 1: Let's Get Started

Today's run: Start with a 5-10 minute warm-up walk. Run 1/1 x 10. (Run 1 minute, walk 1 minute, ten times, for a total of 20 minutes.) Finish up with a 5-10 minute cool-down walk. Remember to take it easy and don't worry about your pace at all.

I'll let you know how it goes!

Another Step Forward

Image via Wikipedia

After all my running around yesterday and trying to get the kids to bed I did NOT want to go to the gym. I was so angry and frustrated that the boys wouldn't go to sleep. I feel guilty that my husband is home with the kids all day long and then he has to deal with them at night too. I decided not to go to the gym. Ben told me to just go anyway. I honestly wasn't going to go, but then a thought occurred to me: this is the exact reason why I fail every time I try to lose weight. I get frustrated or too tired and I basically give up.

So, I started my workout at 9 pm and worked out for an hour. I spent 20 minutes on the treadmill. I was angry so I kept walking faster then I'd set the speed for. So I kept to a very brisk walk and even ran a few times, granted not for long periods of time. I'm just so proud of myself for not falling into old traps and working hard. Of course, I felt so much better after my workout!

Cardio - Treadmill
20 minutes / 1.1 miles / 314 calories

Weight Training - Back/Biceps/Calves

Lateral Pull Down
1 warmup set 40 lbs 12 reps
3 sets 60 lbs 15 reps

Reverse Grip Lateral Pull Down

2 sets 60 lbs 15 reps

Alternate DB Bicep Curls
1 warmup set 5 lbs 12 reps
3 sets 7.5 lbs 15 reps

Alternate DB Hammer Curls
3 sets 7.5 lbs 15 reps

Standing Calf Press
1 warmup set 40 lbs 12
3 sets 60 lbs 15 reps

Cool Down 5 minutes Elliptical

GEMS

Good morning people! Today is a good day. I've lost 3 lbs since December 30th!

Yesterday I only ate 2003 calories. I'm finding that as long as I keep busy after work I'm not overeating. In the past when I've watched what I eat or counted points for Weight Watchers I always maxed out my daily allowance. Of course, I'd often go over my allotted amount, which is why I'm shocked that I'm not doing that. Don't get me wrong I'm VERY happy about this!! I hope I can stick with this consistently!

Last night I was the first night back to GEMS since the holidays. It was great! The girls were super hyper of course but we had a great time. We're working on the Role Models badge and planning a party! The girls are very excited and this is going to fill up the month quite nicely.

I did not go to the gym last night, but I did keep myself busy all night. As soon as I was finished work I started folding laundry and rearranging my office. By the time that was done it was time to eat and run out the door.

At GEMS I barely sat the whole time. I'd just get comfy and have to go do something (well as comfy as you can be sitting on the floor with 7 10 year olds). When I got home all I wanted to do was sit down and relax, but ended up folding more laundry. So in the end I didn't really sit around at all.

Tonight I've got a bunch of running around to do and will hit the gym about 8:30/8:45.

Week 2

Welcome to week 2 of being on Meridia. I meant to write sooner, but had a lack of new things to talk about and then well didn't have the time.

Sunday was officially 1 week since I started Meridia and first weighed myself. Well, I weighed myself and my current weight is NOW: 239.4. That's right! I am down 2 lbs!

Over the last year I have bounced up and down from 239 to 250 and in no particular order. So at this point anything below 239 feels like I've really lost weight instead of the same 10 lbs over and over. This is real progress.

After Joey was born until I was pregnant with Riley I maintained 235 lbs. So that was about 2 years. Real progress will begin once I'm below 235 lbs.

Now, having said all that I know losing 10 lbs is nothing to scoff at. I know that after being 235+ lbs for the past 4.5 years I will really start to accept that I am finally on my weigh to my weight loss goals.

Sunday is quickly approaching and I'm excited and nervous about the CIBC Run for the Cure. I'm trying to look at this as a beginning not a failure. I originally signed up for the run to be a goal for when I've lost some weight and to be able to actually run most if not all of the 5 km. Well, as life happens I'm nowhere near that fitness goal. Now it's time to change my thinking and look at this as a fresh start so next year I can run the 5 km!

As of today I am only $35 shy of my donation goal! I've had a lot of help in changing some of the ways I look at life. Many of you know I've asked for donations for the run. I've had so many surprises with the people who've so generously sponsored me. When I asked for donations I expected $5-$10 and figured if I got enough people then it would add up. Instead I've been blessed with sponsors who've donated $20-$100 in one shot. I even had a donation from a guy I work with who I haven't really gotten to know! This all amazes me and really helps me put things in perspective. The whole point of this run is to Cure Breast Cancer! There will be many women there who've beaten cancer or lost someone they love to cancer. This is the point! Not how well I can run or not or how fit I am. So, I want to say a big thank you to the people who've sponsored me and for the people who support me emotionally and spiritually.

Thank you all and God Bless!!

eLLe

Three Days In

Today marks Day 3 of taking Meridia. I have noticed a huge difference in the amount I am eating, both in meals and in snacking.

Now, I'm not sure if Meridia works immediately or if it takes a few days to get into my system. Maybe it's all psychological that I feel full so quickly, but if it is I don't care and I don't want to know. Whatever works!

I know the weight loss will take a lot longer and I'm not trying to delude myself that the weight will fall off with no effort. Right now I'm just aiming for baby steps.

I'm quite shocked at the amount of food I was consuming. I know I'm fat and I knew I ate a lot
but it wasn't until i felt myself full before the end of a bowl of food that i realized truly how much I've been over eating

I can't say that I haven't had any junk food but I can say it isn't nearly as much as it would be prior to the medication. It's only 3 days in and I still have the urge to snack. I find that I don't want as much to eat or nearly as often. I'm slowly starting to incorporate more fruit and veg which is hard to do after so many years of junk food. It's not even that I don't like fruit and veggies, it's just bad habits. Speaking of bad habits, I still haven't managed to get off my duff to exercise, not even a short walk. I know once I start exercising it will get easier and I'll enjoy it.

I mentioned previously some of the reasons I decided to go to the doctor about Meridia. There's another reason, well technically there are lots of reasons, but one in particular I want to share. A friend of mine recently gave us some furniture. We're so lucky that she thinks of us. She gave us a new kitchen table one of those round wooden ones with the wooden chairs.

When I went to put the chairs around the table I noticed a label under the seat that says not to exceed 250 lbs. I'm pretty close to that in weight and I find it highly embarrassing that I feel like I cannot sit in these chairs.

I've also go my Run for a Cure on October 4th. It was supposed to be my goal, to run the 5 km. At this point I know that is not possible and I will be walking it. It just goes to show that a year can really fly by and nothing much has changed. I am still excited about doing this run and am now looking at it as a starting point. If it's possible I would greatly appreciate any donations. My goal is $300 I'm almost half way there. If you would like to donate you can do so here.

My weight holds me back from a lot of happiness in life. It's time for a change. That time is now. Thank you for your continued support over and over.

eLLe

Time for a Change

Welcome to my new blog.

I decided it was time for a change. I really enjoyed writing my Fitness Rampage Blog but I felt compelled to only write about fitness/weight issues and who has time for 2 separate blogs?

Being eLLe is going to encompass more of my daily life, as it happens. I'll include my struggles with weight loss as well as updates on my family and life in general.

As many of you know from my previous blog I've struggled with trying to lose weight for years. I've had weight problems since high school when I started binge eating. Twice I've lost weight and kept it off for a number of years, but then I had children.

When pregnant I didn't care how much I weighed, I ate whatever I craved through all 3 of my pregnancies. It took about 2 years after Dale was born for me to lose weight, but I did it and was happy with my shape and the energy levels I had. After gaining all the weight back with Joey I help back losing because I knew I wanted another child. I thought after Riley it would be easy for me to get started and lose weight. What I failed to take account for was the fact that it is now 5 years later and I'm so used to giving in to cravings and eating whatever I want that I'm having a very hard time changing my eating habits.

I'm an emotional eater and my tendency to overeat has grown over the years. I have the knowledge on what I need to do to lose weight. I've had the motivation off and on as well, but continue to run into obstacles. At the first sign of stress I'm in my kitchen shoveling food into my mouth.

I've tried going it alone, Weight Watchers and the gym. All of these things have worked for me in the past. The biggest obstacle is myself. Life gets too hard so I just check out.

Well, I've had it. It's time to do something about my weight. I've said all of this before, but all I can do is keep trying. Having said that though you may be wondering what sparked the need for change this time around. The answer is simple and nothing I have never said before. I want to be healthy and be able to keep up with my kids. I have a great life, great family and great friends. I want to feel good about myself too!

I went to the doctor yesterday. I spoke with the doctor and asked to be prescribed with Meridia. The doctor agreed and wrote the prescription. I filled it right away. You're probably wondering what Meridia is. It is an orally administered agent for the treatment of obesity, as an appetite suppressant. The prescription itself is very expensive when you don't have a drug plan. My hope is that the pills combined with the knowledge of how much I'm paying for the prescription will give me that much needed kick in the pants. The hardest part is always starting a routine and sticking with it even when life gets stressful.

The pills are not a quick fix. I still have a long road ahead of me with a lot of work to do. I'm going to lay it all out there. As of this morning I weigh 241.4 lbs. I have four goals for the next month:

• Weigh ONLY once a week. My weigh day is going to be Sunday mornings.
• Eat more fruit and vegetables. I've already gone grocery shopping and pre-sliced the fruit and veg. I find it much easier to choose healthier food when it's already prepared for you.
• Walk at least 30 minutes everyday. I've been quite stagnant lately and need to get back into some sort of exercise routine. I will increase the intensity as time goes on.
  
• Stay encouraged even when progress is slow. If I slip up, I won't use it as an excuse to eat MORE food.
  

Thank you for reading and for your encouragement in the journey we call Life. I hope to write every day or every couple of days. Stay tuned for more updates and please feel free to leave comments. I enjoy hearing from all of you.

eLLe