Finding Style

Friday I went to Reitman's to see if I could find a light colored shirt for my fitness class. It's really hot working out in a black shirt! While I was there I tried on a number of dresses. I seriously love wearing dresses. Over the last 10 months or so I've been putting in effort in terms of trying to find my own style. In fact, prior to October 2013, I hadn't worn lipstick in years. I still don't wear a lot of makeup, just eyeliner, mascara and now lipstick. I've learned what colors look best on me and I'm still learning what I like and what looks good. It's still a little weird for me as I go about finding my own style but I am enjoying creating this part of my identity. 

Anyway, I found a couple of dresses I liked but I wasn't 100% sure so I didn't buy them. Sunday I was going to go back but wanted to check out Pennington's first. They only had halter and floor length dresses which wasn't what I was looking for. These stores tend to really annoy me. There are clothes I'd love to wear, but I can't justify spending that much money on one item. My visit got cut short as I was needed at home. I figured I would just go to Reitman's a little later. Unfortunately, by the time I was able to get out again everything was closed and I ended up at Walmart.

The dress selection was slim but I found one I was willing to try on. I was highly disappointed. Can someone please tell me what is up with this new style where a dress is short in front and long in back? It makes no sense to me and honestly I think they're awful.

Could you not decide if you wanted a short dress or a long one and went with both?  

In the end, I managed to buy a magenta sleeveless scoop neck top, sandals, a new bra, and underwear. I always forget how much better I feel when I get new underclothes. Nothing beats having the girls up where they belong! What we wear under our clothes can have such a positive impact on our self-esteem. It's the little things in life that put a smile on my face. 

Winter Joggers o.O Really????

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Okay, so I'm still not blogging regularly..but I haven't given up. I think about you often and some of the things I'd like to share and then life gets in the way. 

I was up very early this morning and I came across some of those hard core runners...you know the ones that jog in any weather - rain, sun, snow storm... 

My question is WHY? 

Why do you insist on running in bad weather? Why are you out there in the middle of winter? And do you have winter running shoes? How does that work? 

I mean I understand the fundamentals of you love to run and it's good for you or addictive or whatever and I get it in the decent weather...I'll even give you the rainy weather, but winter??? Are you all insane? 

I've done some crazy things in the name of fitness, but running outside in the winter just ain't one of them. Seriously, I really wanna know about the shoes...you must have to replace them often! And if you're a hard core runner you certainly don't have cheap running shoes. 

Can someone enlighten me? 

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Rant - Sporting Goods Stores

Today marks Day 3 of getting healthy. I've been doing okay for the most part but not great. I ended up eating junk late last night and while still in my calorie range it definitely wasn't healthy or helpful. I'm not giving up. I know this is my umpteenth try at getting healthy and losing weight but if I don't try I'll never get there. 

I'm ticked off. I know that I'm a large woman. Scratch that. I know I'm fat. I also know that I'm not the only fat person in the world, let alone the city of Ottawa. So, why is it that stores that sell sports clothing do not carry anything larger than L or XL? (At least not in the women's sections.) Like come on! How are people who are struggling to lose weight and get healthy supposed to feel when they can't find anything to work out in? At times it can be a setback. 

I have a bike again and I'd really like to find some bike shorts. Apparently, that's not going to happen until after I've already lost all my weight. Thanks..that's helpful. I'm going to check out a few more stores, and at this point I don't even care if they're men's or women's bike shorts. In fact it's not even just bike shorts. Try and find any decent athletic wear for someone larger than an XL, it's next to impossible.

You know what else bothers me? That fat people are made to feel even worse when they finally do something about their weight. Now, I know some of it is our own insecurities, but not always. You walk into a sporting goods store and no one offers to help you. Walk into a supplement store and they practically scoff at you. It's like "Hello! I know I'm fat. Don't you think if anyone should be here it's me?" I just find this utterly ridiculous.

I get very self-conscious when I workout. I find it very hard to go into public to workout. Going for walks is the worst, because I find myself looking at the people running by thinking they're judging me. I've seen a few looks to prove that theory although I admit a lot of the time it's mostly just me judging me. 

I find it easier with biking. I'm not in the same spot for long and I enjoy it so much I usually don't think about being the fat girl on a bike. I'm hoping to start biking this weekend. I overdid it the first day out with my seat in the wrong position. As you can imagine...that led to a problem sitting back down on my bike seat. For now I am letting myself heal before starting up again. I'm hoping to log a lot of miles this summer.

Here's a picture of my bike and helmet:

My Unorganized Life

I've been thinking a lot lately. I know it's a dangerous past time, but thinking can lead to doing and that's what I was in need of. Every time I think about starting an exercise regime, I think of my lack of time. This line of thinking led me to the realization that I have a lot of wasted time during the day. I know I technically already knew that, but when you're "in it" it's hard to see things clearly. I also knew part of my problem is the utter chaos my house was in. 

While technically clean, my life has been a mess. Yes, I mean life, not house. The unorganized house is a reflection of my unorganized life. I know there are certain things that won't stay clean and especially as a parent life doesn't always go the way you want. However, there are things within my control that I can do to help myself. And yes, I admit a LOT of it is because of laziness, procrastination and a majority of the time from frustration.

I let go of so many things - like the clean laundry sitting on our bedroom floor that no one had gotten to folding. My night stand full of useless stuff and one of it's drawers sitting on the floor. It's been there so long I barely remember why. I think it as just too lazy to put it back in. Also, the basement that's supposed to be half office and half workout room. Instead it too had become chaos.  

How can I make a fresh start with my life in constant disarray? How can I even begin a routine when I can't even find my jogging pants? So, today was the day. I called off going to church set a time to get off my lazy behind and get to it. Riley got up before 6:30 so I decided 8 am was a good time to get moving. 

At 8 I started the dishes, I decided to get the big stuff out of the way because it always looks worse than it it. I'm not the kind of person who can start with one thing and well finish just that one thing. I washed only the big stuff - pots, pans, cutting boards, lettuce spinner etc. Then I moved onto cleaning my espresso machine because well I hadn't had any caffeine yet and we all know how I love my caffeine. This led to me going downstairs to finally organize my office/work out room. I finally got the biggest of the basement organization done. There's still a closet under the stairs, but for now it's out of site. 

I ended up back in the kitchen, not to finish the dishes, but to organize the tall cupboard that's  been driving me crazy. I even moved the stove out and swept and mopped under there. I never did do the rest of the dishes, Ben ended up doing them later this afternoon. 

Somewhere between the basement and kitchen I managed to sort the laundry and get Ben to take the giant bucket of clean clothes to our bedroom. This led me to going into our bedroom to try and sort out THAT mess. I'm proud to say I did! I started with the clothes on the floor and worked my way to the bucket. I even folded and put most of it away. There is of course a lot more laundry to come, but at least caught up with myself. 

Now I'm sure you're all wondering when I'll stop talking about cleaning and I'm almost there. I just wanted to share how one thing leads to another with me. I made a fairly hefty to do list:

• move office
• organize basement
• set up temporary work out area (we're getting a home gym from my grandmother)
• laundry (which of course was in two parts) continue laundry and finish folding stuff from bedroom floor
• kitchen - organize tall cupboard, finish dishes, make curry (never made it to the curry we had BBQ instead)
• bedroom - finish folding clothes, put away misc crap, hem pants and sew stuff (also part of misc crap) 

 

I managed all of my list plus other stuff along the way. After that I decided to get some errands out of the way before going for my walk I was determined to go on. So, I went looking for someone who does shoe repair and ended up at Payless where I bought new shoes and a purse for $38! 
   

Aren't they pretty? (Yes, I'm one of THOSE who has just one purse regardless of what color she's wearing...sorry Dre...I know you'll be teasing me for this one.) I was so excited when I got home and a little nervous because I spent money I technically shouldn't have but I did NEED the shoes for work tomorrow. When I got home Ben was doing the rest of the dishes I still hadn't managed to get to and he was completely fine with my purchases of $38. He was worried I'd come home to say I spent hundreds because I was gone so long. 

I played with the kids for a bit before making supper and then I went for a walk. I planned only on walking but I did jog off and on on the second 15 minutes. I was surprised at myself and hurting for it now. My goal is to walk/jog every other day and to do weight training on the off days. I need to remember to bring my 1 lbs weights with me on my next walk/jog.

Oh! After all that I forgot to tell you one of my big epiphanies - I spend way too much time watching tv. So, I'm giving it up. Well, not entirely I still need to de-stress from time to time or want to watch my shows here and there. Instead, I'm going to try and finish all of those things I say I don't have time for. That's another list for another time.

All in all, today was a very productive day for my house and for my soul.

Worst .... Haircut ...... Ever

Well, today I got the bright idea to go get my hair cut. This seemed simple enough but apparently somewhere between what I asked for and what I got ended in disaster. When I got home I had a shower and attempted to make salvage some sort of style.I think I did ok, but there's barely any angle and it's so short! Here's a picture, but believe me it doesn't do justice to how bad it was when I left the salon.

After the hair cut I was really upset but I continued on to Wal-Mart to get workout pants. Although I found a pair that fit I was quite upset about the size. So that added fuel to my already roaring fire of emotional turmoil. But, it is just hair and if I work hard the weight will come off.

I've got a new buddy to help me along the way. My friend Helen is joining me for my walks. Tonight we went 2.5 miles (3.3 km). I think it took us about 40 minutes. All in all I feel better about everything now (though I still want to put a bag over my hair).

I'm off to bed! Good Night All!

Day 2 - Completed

Good evening! Well, I didn't think I'd make it. Every time I decided that's it I'm going to go I procrastinated or something came up with the kids. Finally, Ben all but kicked me out of the house and told me to just go. So, I did and I feel so much better too! I was all grumpy before I went but now I feel great.

I ran for about 6 minutes total because my shins and feet were hurting badly. I`m going to have a look at New Balance this weekend to see if I can pick up a new pair of runners. I went to the New Balance website and did their Total Fit Test. I think I found a pair of shoes.The price is right and their pretty!!

Day 2: Here's your workout for today: Start with a 5-10 minute warm-up walk. Run 1/1 x 10. (Run 1 minute, walk 1 minute, ten times, for a total of 20 minutes.) Finish with a 5-10 minute cool-down walk. This is the same workout you did yesterday, so you can definitely do it!

Trackname:
Date:	Wednesday Mar. 17, 2010 18:58 pm
Distance:	1.92 mi
Duration:	00:30:32
Exercise Type:	Running

Welcome to bEiNg eLLe 2010!

With the new year brings the dreaded New Years Resolutions. We all do it, we all see the new year as a beginning whether we see it as good or bad. Some make a detailed list with goals, sometimes it's just an idea in our heads that this year will be better. Well, in keeping with tradition my resolution is to ...ahem... lose weight, among other things.

Yeah, I know. No surprise there. You're probably all sick of hearing the same tired excuses over and over again. I know I'm tired of saying them. Really at this point the only thing I really have to say is that I do not want keep gaining weight and one day be at 300 lbs. I cannot gain more weight then I already have.

So...my goal is to lose 100 pounds. To achieve this I have to write everything down. I DESPISE keeping track of my food. Mostly I hate having to measure and keep track at all. Having said that I KNOW there's really no option here. If I truly want to lose weight I've GOT to manage my eating. And we all know what I've done up to this point has NOT worked! All of this I emphasize mostly because I need to remind myself of what is important. Taking a few more minutes to keep track of food or gaining more weight.

Goal: To lose 100 lbs

Current weight: 250 lbs

I took my progress pictures. I'm not sure I want to post them just yet, but I read a blog today that inspired me. Check out Angel's Blog, she may inspire you too! If she can post her video, I can post my before pictures. I won't post them directly in my blog, but if you would like to see them please click here.

I have a routine that I'm going to follow. However, I'd forgotten about GEMS on Wednesday's so I'll have to rework my schedule for next week. For now this week's plan is:

Monday - Chest, Triceps, Abs

Tuesday - Cardio

Wednesday - Cardio

Thursday - Back, Biceps, Calves

Friday - Cardio

Saturday - Legs, Shoulders, Abs

Sunday - Cardio

Last night was the first time I've done a real workout in a very long time. The gym can be a very intimidating place at first. The cardio equipment is easy, but I find the weight area very scary. I'm afraid everyone is watching me and making fun of the fat girl. Until I get used to it I have to constantly remind myself that I have every right to be there. More so in ways since I have a long way to go to get into shape. The people that intimidate me already look good. It's totally a mental block that I have to overcome, but last night was the first step in doing that. Here is last night's workout:

Cardio

Elliptical: 20 minutes / 342.2 calories

Chest

Incline DB Press:
1 warm-up set 5 lbs 12 reps
3 sets 7.5 lbs 15 reps

Incline DB Flyes:
1 warm-up set 5 lbs 12 reps
3 sets 5 lbs 15 reps

Triceps

Tricep DB Curls:
1 warm-up set 7.5 lbs 12 reps
3 sets 7.5 lbs 15 reps

Tricep DB Kickbacks:
2 sets 7.5 lbs 15 reps

Abdominals

Crunches: 60
Reverse Crunch: 15