March 21: Refresh (Chapter Eleven)

This post is part of the Balanced challenge with Tricia Goyer—and you can join, too!

Don’t think balance will happen overnight—or even over an eleven-day challenge. It takes practice, and practice takes time. Spend a few minutes reviewing what you’ve learned throughout this challenge and what you hope to continue implementing in your life. Then blog about how you can keep persevering and working toward balance after the challenge has ended. Share encouragement for those who might feel they’ve failed at balance.

As I'm sure you've discovered the dream of a completely balance life does not exist. Life is a series of constant changes. Some days you'll feel like you've achieved balance only to have disaster strike the next day. You're not alone. Dare I say, you're even normal.

Over the past eleven days I've had my ups and downs. I had days that I could write and write and other days I wondered why I signed up for this challenge. In the end, I am glad that I've taken the time to do each challenge. I've learned a lot and I hope I maintain most of that knowledge. I thought I'd finish up with a brief overview of my Balanced Challenge.

Day 1
Make your family a priority. Take a look at what is most important to you as a family. What do you want to accomplish as a family? Where do you see yourself in five or ten years? For my family, I hope that we be close as the kids grow older.

Day 2
Find ways to make working at home work for you. Create your own space to work in. Make it comfortable, inspiring and functional.

Day 3
How can you get your kids involved in what you do? Get inspiration from your children or ask them for ideas. Explain what it is you're doing.

Day 4
Believe God. God made you uniquely you. He gave you gifts that no one else has. Believe that God gave you these gifts for a reason and use them for His glory.

Day 5
Create a schedule by ranking your priorities. What is truly important? What has to be done? What are you doing just because you think other's expect you to?

Day 6
Do what you can. Use those small windows of time to be productive. Sweep the floor, fold a load of laundry, fill the sink with soapy water for the dishes to soak.

Day 7
Seek Support. It's okay to ask for help. It's even okay to hire help where needed. The upkeep for a family is a lot of work and doesn't need to fall on the shoulders of one person.

Day 8
Make your day amazing! Give thanks to God for your blessings. Sing His praises. Take the time to appreciate each member of your family for being unique. I had a mini dance party with my 6.5 year old daughter.

Day 9
Find inspiration and rest. There is F.R.E.E.D.O.M. in following your dreams. I am finding peace and joy in researching my dream!

Day 10
Eight. What are your eight life themes? What matters most to you? Music. Family. People. God. Friendship. Play. Laugh. Appreciate.

Day 11
Know that there will be ups and downs. True balance comes within. Let go of the things that really don't matter in the long run. Remember to go to God first instead of as a last resort. Spend quality time with the people you love and delegate whatever you can. Live in peace even through the chaos of our every changing lives.




A Wonderful Reminder of How Beautiful YOU Are!

I came across this video this morning and really felt the need to share His message. How many of us go through life always feeling not good enough? The video is not very long but is powerful and poetically stated. Take two minutes out of your day and take it all in.

YOU are beautiful BECAUSE of yours imperfections!

Happy Turkey Day

Happy Thanksgiving! I know it's been a while. I've thought of you - a lot, but just didn't know what to say. There have been days when I've wanted to scream and shout and lay it all out there for the world to see yet it seemed like too much I didn't know where to start. Other days I couldn't muster even one word. Well, in honor of Thanksgiving I thought I'd just start again. In fact, I thought talking about Thanksgiving and what it means to me would be a pretty good start. 

Life has been a rocky journey thus far and I assume it will continue much the same. There have been times where I've found myself with very little in life. These times have shaped me to be the person I am today and God isn't finished with me yet. A number of years ago now I realized some things you just need to MAKE happen and when you do it's like magic. There are a few celebrations I make happen Thanksgiving, my birthday and Christmas. These three holidays (yes my birthday is a holiday shut it!) are insanely important to me. 

Thanksgiving and Christmas are essentially the same to me (except for the prezzies) because I have what I call my Misfits Dinner. I invite whoever comes across my path who don't have plans. I think everyone should be able to celebrate and being alone just isn't an option. Coincidentally I also feel that way about birthdays. It's your ONE day of the year that's just for you who cares how old you're turning, celebrate YOU! There is only and will only ever be one YOU.

I've been blessed with the ability to cook amazing turkey dinners, bake deliciously scrumptious pumpkin pies and I enjoy sharing those gifts. I don't have fine china. Sometimes we sit on lawn chairs. (Don't worry we always eat inside the house.) And sometimes dinner is a lot later than I expected, but we always have a great time with great company while eating really yummy food. In my opinion, you can't ask for anything more magical than that!

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Pre-Test Post

Okay folks.....it's D-Day...or in my case T-Day, as in Test Day, the BIG test. This test covers 14 of the 19 subjects I've taken in the last 8 months. From ethical counseling to pharmacology and a whole lot in between! My nerves just kicked in - I'm feeling wound right up! I'll post AFTER my test to let you know how I feel about it. Okay enough procrastination off to study! 

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Balancing Commitment & Trust

Image via Wikipedia

Welcome to another Faith Friday! 

I've bee trying to make a habit of reading the bible every morning. I managed 4 out of 5 mornings, so overall not too bad. I'm currently trying to get through Proverbs. It doesn't read like a story and I think that's why I'm having trouble getting through it. Having said that I have come across some gems through my reading. One such verse that stood out was this one: 

Commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed.

                                                                                    Proverbs 16:3

I have a Tyndale Application Study Bible so I looked up the notes for this verse and here is what I found. (I sort of paraphrased what they said.)

There are different ways of failing to commit to the Lord. Some people commit their work only superficially. They say they are working for the Lord but they're really doing it for themselves. Others give God temporary control and when things start to go wrong they take back that control. Still others commit a task fully to God but they put no effort in and wonder why they weren't successful. The key is to find a balance: trusting God as if everything depended on him while working as though everything depended on us. 

I don't know about you, but I TRY to hand over the reigns of control, but always end up taking over. My husband says I'm like a bull in a china shop. (I admit, it's taken me years to try to take that the wrong way... I usually only hear the bull part and rant on how I'm not a bull.) The point is, I get a idea in my head and I run with it and I don't really take the time to think it through. I do the same thing with God. Life gets overwhelming and instead of taking all that stress to God, I try to make my life work without Him. 

While gathering info for this post I came across another verse that goes hand in hand with committing to the Lord:

Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.                                                                                Psalm 62:8

But it's hard to trust God sometimes...isn't it? There's the one side of me that knows God can do anything. God loves me. God has a plan. But there's that doubtful side, the one that thinks I'm not good enough for God, why should he care about me? How can God love me? Sure, he has a plan, but I just want to know what it is or WHY something is the way it is. 


I've posted before about my challenges when I try to get closer to God...there's always something that gets in the way. Have you ever noticed when you are on track that life feels easier? Not that the challenges you face are gone, but they seem easier to handle. 

I don't know about you, but I'm trying harder to trust God. I KNOW He is faithful and I want to be faithful too! 


I'm trusting in God. He has a plan for my life and He has a plan for your life too! Join me in trying to have a little more faith this week. I have no doubt we'll all be surprised. 

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Stumbling Through Life

As many of you know I am a GEMS counselor. The purpose of GEMS Girls' Clubs is to help bring girls into a living, dynamic relationship with Jesus Christ. 

This year's season is quickly winding down and I didn't have anything planned. From time to time winging it seems to really pay off. I quickly put together a few activities from one of our resources and I think I managed to provide a powerful message. 

The main  activity we did was to be blindfolded and maneuver through an obstacle course of chairs to get the ball on the other side. The idea was to show the girls that when we try to do things on our own we often stumble and fall. When we take the time to listen to God and follow the path he has laid out for us we often get exactly what we need.  

Each of the girls took a turn and at the end I decided I should go through as well. While blindfolded the girls decided to use my phone to take a video. The quality isn't great, and please keep in mind that I didn't know I was being recorded.

I think it really helped the girls and myself to tangibly see or rather feel how difficult it is to navigate through life. Even though we cannot always see the path, if we take the time to listen to God he will always steer us in the right direction.

Dignity

I'd like to talk to you about something a little different today. I know the bible says to give in secret, but I want to share something with you.

There is a woman who sits on Metcalfe St in Ottawa. Her name is Mo. She's not homeless per se, but her life is on the streets. I can't explain why, but I feel drawn to her. I used to walk by her everyday when I worked at on Elgin St and I started bringing her coffee and a muffin or bagel. I've stopped to have real conversations with her.

I haven't been by to see her in a long time, between running late and working from home, but I think of her often. This morning I was early for work and went to see her. She still remembers me and even though I can smell the booze on her breath, I care.

We talked this morning, she's sick again. You see a lot of people walk by her and ignore her. People with a cold or the flu walk by her and cough on her. How hard is it to turn your head toward the street instead of the woman sitting on the sidewalk?

I've sat with her, I've hugged her when she cried and I still can't explain why she touches me so. I have to hope that it's some sort of call from God and have faith that I'm making some sort of small difference in her life, even if it's not often.

I admit I don't feel the same about every person I see on the street and maybe I should. I do try to acknowledge their existence. I remember we had a speaker at our church who said even if you can't give them money just give them the dignity of looking them in the eye. I've kept that with me and I try to at least smile and say hello.

Hear, O LORD, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
Guard my life, for I am devoted to you.
You are my God; save your servant
who trusts in you.
Have mercy on me, O Lord,
for I call to you all day long.
Psalm 86:1-3

Day 2 - Completed

Good evening! Well, I didn't think I'd make it. Every time I decided that's it I'm going to go I procrastinated or something came up with the kids. Finally, Ben all but kicked me out of the house and told me to just go. So, I did and I feel so much better too! I was all grumpy before I went but now I feel great.

I ran for about 6 minutes total because my shins and feet were hurting badly. I`m going to have a look at New Balance this weekend to see if I can pick up a new pair of runners. I went to the New Balance website and did their Total Fit Test. I think I found a pair of shoes.The price is right and their pretty!!

Day 2: Here's your workout for today: Start with a 5-10 minute warm-up walk. Run 1/1 x 10. (Run 1 minute, walk 1 minute, ten times, for a total of 20 minutes.) Finish with a 5-10 minute cool-down walk. This is the same workout you did yesterday, so you can definitely do it!

Trackname:
Date:	Wednesday Mar. 17, 2010 18:58 pm
Distance:	1.92 mi
Duration:	00:30:32
Exercise Type:	Running

Day 1 - Completed!

Completed Day 1: Let's Get Started

Today's run: Start with a 5-10 minute warm-up walk. Run 1/1 x 10. (Run 1 minute, walk 1 minute, ten times, for a total of 20 minutes.) Finish up with a 5-10 minute cool-down walk. Remember to take it easy and don't worry about your pace at all.

Okay, so in reality I walked for 10, ran 1 minute, walked 1 minute for 10 minutes and then walked for the rest which ended up being another 17 minutes. My lower back really hurt, but I endured. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be able to do a little more. For now I'm just excited that I set out to get out there and I actually did it!

Trackname:	Day 1
Date:	Tuesday Mar. 16, 2010 15:46 pm
Distance:	2.4 mi
Duration:	00:37:29
Exercise Type:	Walking (with a little running)

Spring has Sprung!

Hello Spring! How I've missed you!

Isn't it wonderful? The days are brighter, the weather is warmer, the snow is almost gone and it hasn't even been slushy! Can you believe it's already the middle of March?! It feels like waking up from the darkness of despair and coming out into the light of life!

With the nice weather comes the urge to get out and get some exercise. Last night we all went for a walk after

dinner. It wasn't a very fast walk or very far but it was nice to be outside and spend time together as a family.

This weekend was super productive, I realize now I must have been spring cleaning without meaning to. We've had a lot of trouble getting Riley to sleep over the past month. Seems to be since she got sick in February first with the flu then with a cold. It got to the point even if she woke in the middle of the night she refused to go back to bed.

Friday night was bad, I thought I'd finally worked out a new routine with her, but she woke at 3 am and started freaking out when I wanted her to go back to sleep. It was then I realized the real problem and that's the neighbors. They're young and were having a party. It wasn't a loud party by any real standards, but Riley's room is right above the front door. So, Saturday I set out to switch Riley's room with my office and she's slept well ever since! She loves her new room and even plays in it. In the process I organized my office which in itself is HUGE!

Well, as you know it's March. October is only 7 months away. That means I've got 7 months to get in shape for the CIBC Run for the Cure 2010! Check out my donation page. I'm not sure when they switch everything over to a new year, but I'm already preparing. So, to get started I'm going to follow an About.com program 3 Weeks to a 30-Minute Running Habit.

Day 1: Let's Get Started

Today's run: Start with a 5-10 minute warm-up walk. Run 1/1 x 10. (Run 1 minute, walk 1 minute, ten times, for a total of 20 minutes.) Finish up with a 5-10 minute cool-down walk. Remember to take it easy and don't worry about your pace at all.

I'll let you know how it goes!

February Women's Retreat

When I started this new blog I said I would update with more then just my weight loss progress and I haven't really done that. I've been too ashamed to write anything because I've hit the winter blues. I'm not going to go into more than that because I want to tell you about an amazing experience I had in February!

Thanks to the church grapevine and my wonderful husband, I was lucky enough to have the opportunity for a weekend away. Eight women from Barrhaven Fellowship CRC, including myself, went on a Women's Retreat at Circle Square Ranch in Arden, ON.

We met at the church Friday afternoon, packed our gear and with four women in each vehicle started our journey. We arrived right on time and quickly got ourselves settled into the Bakery. The hot water was only working on the boys side of the ranch and let me tell you it smelled like a boys bathroom!Our room consisted of 6 bunk beds with these vinyl mattresses. I quickly realized that on our list of things to bring bedding meant more than just a pillow and blanket. It was a major "DUH!" moment. Thankfully, Andrea brought lots of extra stuff and let me borrow a blanket to sleep on.

Then we were off to our first session of Heartsongs and Chocolates with Heidi McLaughlin. The whole weekend was powerful and amazing but I'm just going to talk about a few things that really stood out for me.

Theme Verse
We had a theme verse for the weekend that we committed to memory. Our theme verse for the weekend:

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him, but God has revealed it to us by His Spirit

1 Corinthians 2:9-10

Two Words
When Heidi started the first session she talked about her two words from God. Each year almost like a New Years Resolution, she prays for God to give her two words. Sometimes its a word or two and other times it may be a phrase or bible passage. I prayed for two words for my weekend and in the stillness of the morning I found the words: Be Still and Wait Patiently. This is not something I do well. I find it difficult to sit quietly. When I read those words from Psalm 37 I knew it was a message God wanted me to hear. In fact, writing this a month later I realize I STILL need to put that into practice.

Mask of Shame

Shame is an excruciating and punishing awareness of our human inadequacy.

We all hide behind different masks and underneath those masks are feelings of shame. There are two types of shame. Real shame when we've done something that we know was wrong but we can take to God and he'll forgive us. Circumstantial shame is a feeling of being wrong. That there is something wrong with us.

If you're anything like me my shame makes me feel as though I'm not good enough or that I'm not worthy. For this session, Heidi had us all put on masquerade masks. There are so many things that we've already gone through and asked for forgiveness but we allow the shame to creep back for things that are in the past and should remain in the past.

At the end she asked us when we were ready to all take off our masks and let the shame go. It was really hard for a lot of women to walk up to the front and drop their masks. Heidi was waiting to give each one of us a hug at that pivotal moment. It's a moment I won't soon forget, but also have to keep reminding myself when the shame creeps back that I've asked forgiveness and let it go.

Triple Braided Heart Connections (You, God and Each Other)
God tugs at our heartstrings through His Spirit. We need each of the following heart connections to thrive in life.

1. Magnum Opus: We all need to see ourselves as God's Masterpiece.

2. Your 2 a.m. Friend: Who would you call at 2 am? Who is that person you can be a complete mess with that would lay in bed with you when you could do nothing else?

3. God: In the end there is just you and God.

The Healing at the Pool

Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for a feast of the Jews. Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?"

"Sir," the invalid replied, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me."

Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk."

John 5:1-8

Heidi had us read this story and asked us what strange question does Jesus ask: Do you want to get well?

So many of us are comfortable in our misery because it's what we know. Personally, I'm comfortable in my misery of being overweight. Why? Because change is hard! I'm not happy being overweight but it takes work, hard work. It's not as simple as going on a diet and following some strict guidelines. Often, we have to dig through emotions that we don't want to deal with or even acknowledge.