Today marks Day 3 of getting healthy. I've been doing okay for the most part but not great. I ended up eating junk late last night and while still in my calorie range it definitely wasn't healthy or helpful. I'm not giving up. I know this is my umpteenth try at getting healthy and losing weight but if I don't try I'll never get there.
I'm ticked off. I know that I'm a large woman. Scratch that. I know I'm fat. I also know that I'm not the only fat person in the world, let alone the city of Ottawa. So, why is it that stores that sell sports clothing do not carry anything larger than L or XL? (At least not in the women's sections.) Like come on! How are people who are struggling to lose weight and get healthy supposed to feel when they can't find anything to work out in? At times it can be a setback.
I have a bike again and I'd really like to find some bike shorts. Apparently, that's not going to happen until after I've already lost all my weight. Thanks..that's helpful. I'm going to check out a few more stores, and at this point I don't even care if they're men's or women's bike shorts. In fact it's not even just bike shorts. Try and find any decent athletic wear for someone larger than an XL, it's next to impossible.
You know what else bothers me? That fat people are made to feel even worse when they finally do something about their weight. Now, I know some of it is our own insecurities, but not always. You walk into a sporting goods store and no one offers to help you. Walk into a supplement store and they practically scoff at you. It's like "Hello! I know I'm fat. Don't you think if anyone should be here it's me?" I just find this utterly ridiculous.
I get very self-conscious when I workout. I find it very hard to go into public to workout. Going for walks is the worst, because I find myself looking at the people running by thinking they're judging me. I've seen a few looks to prove that theory although I admit a lot of the time it's mostly just me judging me.
I find it easier with biking. I'm not in the same spot for long and I enjoy it so much I usually don't think about being the fat girl on a bike. I'm hoping to start biking this weekend. I overdid it the first day out with my seat in the wrong position. As you can imagine...that led to a problem sitting back down on my bike seat. For now I am letting myself heal before starting up again. I'm hoping to log a lot of miles this summer.
Here's a picture of my bike and helmet:
