Welcome Back Kotter

What's that old saying? The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Well, for those who've followed my blogs, this is very true of me. I've got the best of intentions, but not so much with the follow through.

It's taken a while, but part of the problem is trying to find the best time to work out. I got used to going in the mornings before work, but now I'm working 7 am - 3 pm. I tried working out at home, but this just doesn't work for me either.

So, I joined the gym at Walter Baker. It's a 5 minute walk from my place and I think I finally found a time that works for me. The plan is to go at night after the kids are in bed, about 8:30. That way I don't have to feel guilty about leaving Ben with the kids.

My first night I started off slowly. I only worked out for 20 minutes. I'm going to keep track of my improvements. The first I'd like to watch is how long it takes to walk/run a mile. I'd eventually like to run the whole mile.

1 mile: 17: 28
Total: 20 minutes/1.1 mile/98.4 cal

You may wonder what sparked it this time. As usual, it's a bunch of things. The biggest reason is my weight. I'm currently at the highest I've ever been and not been pregnant. Another reason is that I've been asked to be maid of honor in my friend's wedding in June.

WARNING - femail content below
Another really big reason for this is that I've noticed with the lack of exercise my periods have gotten worse again. My hormones are even more out of control then ever before. My periods are heavier and more painful. In short I'm a big angry ball of rage which is affecting my home life. I've also been depressed and tired. When I think back, working out kept a lot of that at bay. I'd rather pay $40/month then hundreds of dollars for anti-depressants.

CIBC Run for the Cure 5 km Complete!

Well, I did it! I met my donation goal and I completed the 5 KM CIBC Run for the Cure on Sunday. I also weighed myself that morning, but I'll get to that in a little while.

My friend Dre and I went together. She decided to walk with me instead of trying to run. We got there really early and walked around for probably an hour before the run actually started. It seemed to take a really long time to get started. It was slow moving at first walking in a crowd. There were over 10,000 people in the run! Once we really got started Dre and I moved up through the ranks, we were able to find holes in the crowd and skip past them.

There were a few times I felt emotional and near tears. I held back because I felt silly since I haven't lost anyone to breast cancer. There was one group that were carrying paper torches that said Sue-vivors, they lost their mom to breast cancer.

On the lap back we ran couple of times but not for very long. I know Dre could have run more, but held back with me which I really appreciated. As we neared the end of the 5 km I felt overwhelmed with emotion. Knowing I had come this far with the donations and actually showing up and walking the 5 km. I can't explain it really, but I really wanted to cry.

We finished the race in under 51 minutes, grabbed some water and walked back to the car. By this point we were pretty tired and didn't feel like staying for the end ceremonies. We both had a wonderful time and plan on doing this again next year.

Next year the plan is to raise more money and to run at least half the 5 km.

When I weighed myself in the morning before the run I was at 237.4. I am down 2 lbs from last week with a total of 4 lbs lost since I started Meridia! I was in shock when I first looked down and saw that number! It's exciting to feel like I'm finally on the right path to lose weight.

I still have a lot of work to do especially with my eating and adding exercise. At least I'm not eating half what I used to and this is what I needed help with the most!

Have a great day! I'll update soon.

eLLe

Feeling Good

Good Morning. I am feeling great today! I can't exactly explain why, I guess because I feel like I'm on the right path! It helps having accomplished a few things.

Yesterday I managed to complete the song list for Children's Church. Once, I've got the list confirmed with my co-coordinator I will be able to finish the binders for the Worship team and will finally be done the big stuff for Children's Church.

Last night I had my GEMS counselor meeting. It was great! We had so much to discuss and so many ideas for the coming year. We're all super excited. I have a large group this year of 8 girls. The meeting ran late and my house was full of people at 10 pm. I'm surprised my kids even went to bed. I've really missed being a part of GEMS. Last year was hard and stressful, but this year looks to be a lot of fun! I think for the first time since I started GEMS I feel prepared for what's to come. I know a lot of this comes from going to Conference and learning a lot about the program and getting some really good ideas on how to teach my group of girls.

The other day a friend of mine, Kali Wegg, was on the news giving a demonstration for her dance studio. I admit it...I love knowing people on TV.

Kali, together with Lyndon Andrews, recently opened Ottawa's newest and hottest dance school KaliAndrews Dance Company. They specialize in acrobatic dance and circus arts. KaliAndrews offers an all new type of intensive training program based on the latest dance trend known as “Acro”. Here is the demonstration hosted on A Channel News:



I can't imagine being that strong or flexible. That definitely takes talent! I hope you enjoyed the video. Please help spread the news about KaliAndrews Dance Company!

As you know my CIBC Run for the Cure is this Sunday. I made my donation goal and have surpassed it by $5. I believe there may even be a couple more donations coming in. I'm so excited. Friday after work I'm picking up my run kit. Sunday will be interesting since we opening ceremonies are at 8:20 am! That means we have to be up pretty early and get our butts downtown but I'm really looking forward to it.

I probably won't post again until Sunday with what my weigh in results are and details of the run. Be blessed and have a great day!

eLLe

Week 2

Welcome to week 2 of being on Meridia. I meant to write sooner, but had a lack of new things to talk about and then well didn't have the time.

Sunday was officially 1 week since I started Meridia and first weighed myself. Well, I weighed myself and my current weight is NOW: 239.4. That's right! I am down 2 lbs!

Over the last year I have bounced up and down from 239 to 250 and in no particular order. So at this point anything below 239 feels like I've really lost weight instead of the same 10 lbs over and over. This is real progress.

After Joey was born until I was pregnant with Riley I maintained 235 lbs. So that was about 2 years. Real progress will begin once I'm below 235 lbs.

Now, having said all that I know losing 10 lbs is nothing to scoff at. I know that after being 235+ lbs for the past 4.5 years I will really start to accept that I am finally on my weigh to my weight loss goals.

Sunday is quickly approaching and I'm excited and nervous about the CIBC Run for the Cure. I'm trying to look at this as a beginning not a failure. I originally signed up for the run to be a goal for when I've lost some weight and to be able to actually run most if not all of the 5 km. Well, as life happens I'm nowhere near that fitness goal. Now it's time to change my thinking and look at this as a fresh start so next year I can run the 5 km!

As of today I am only $35 shy of my donation goal! I've had a lot of help in changing some of the ways I look at life. Many of you know I've asked for donations for the run. I've had so many surprises with the people who've so generously sponsored me. When I asked for donations I expected $5-$10 and figured if I got enough people then it would add up. Instead I've been blessed with sponsors who've donated $20-$100 in one shot. I even had a donation from a guy I work with who I haven't really gotten to know! This all amazes me and really helps me put things in perspective. The whole point of this run is to Cure Breast Cancer! There will be many women there who've beaten cancer or lost someone they love to cancer. This is the point! Not how well I can run or not or how fit I am. So, I want to say a big thank you to the people who've sponsored me and for the people who support me emotionally and spiritually.

Thank you all and God Bless!!

eLLe

Three Days In

Today marks Day 3 of taking Meridia. I have noticed a huge difference in the amount I am eating, both in meals and in snacking.

Now, I'm not sure if Meridia works immediately or if it takes a few days to get into my system. Maybe it's all psychological that I feel full so quickly, but if it is I don't care and I don't want to know. Whatever works!

I know the weight loss will take a lot longer and I'm not trying to delude myself that the weight will fall off with no effort. Right now I'm just aiming for baby steps.

I'm quite shocked at the amount of food I was consuming. I know I'm fat and I knew I ate a lot
but it wasn't until i felt myself full before the end of a bowl of food that i realized truly how much I've been over eating

I can't say that I haven't had any junk food but I can say it isn't nearly as much as it would be prior to the medication. It's only 3 days in and I still have the urge to snack. I find that I don't want as much to eat or nearly as often. I'm slowly starting to incorporate more fruit and veg which is hard to do after so many years of junk food. It's not even that I don't like fruit and veggies, it's just bad habits. Speaking of bad habits, I still haven't managed to get off my duff to exercise, not even a short walk. I know once I start exercising it will get easier and I'll enjoy it.

I mentioned previously some of the reasons I decided to go to the doctor about Meridia. There's another reason, well technically there are lots of reasons, but one in particular I want to share. A friend of mine recently gave us some furniture. We're so lucky that she thinks of us. She gave us a new kitchen table one of those round wooden ones with the wooden chairs.

When I went to put the chairs around the table I noticed a label under the seat that says not to exceed 250 lbs. I'm pretty close to that in weight and I find it highly embarrassing that I feel like I cannot sit in these chairs.

I've also go my Run for a Cure on October 4th. It was supposed to be my goal, to run the 5 km. At this point I know that is not possible and I will be walking it. It just goes to show that a year can really fly by and nothing much has changed. I am still excited about doing this run and am now looking at it as a starting point. If it's possible I would greatly appreciate any donations. My goal is $300 I'm almost half way there. If you would like to donate you can do so here.

My weight holds me back from a lot of happiness in life. It's time for a change. That time is now. Thank you for your continued support over and over.

eLLe

Time for a Change

Welcome to my new blog.

I decided it was time for a change. I really enjoyed writing my Fitness Rampage Blog but I felt compelled to only write about fitness/weight issues and who has time for 2 separate blogs?

Being eLLe is going to encompass more of my daily life, as it happens. I'll include my struggles with weight loss as well as updates on my family and life in general.

As many of you know from my previous blog I've struggled with trying to lose weight for years. I've had weight problems since high school when I started binge eating. Twice I've lost weight and kept it off for a number of years, but then I had children.

When pregnant I didn't care how much I weighed, I ate whatever I craved through all 3 of my pregnancies. It took about 2 years after Dale was born for me to lose weight, but I did it and was happy with my shape and the energy levels I had. After gaining all the weight back with Joey I help back losing because I knew I wanted another child. I thought after Riley it would be easy for me to get started and lose weight. What I failed to take account for was the fact that it is now 5 years later and I'm so used to giving in to cravings and eating whatever I want that I'm having a very hard time changing my eating habits.

I'm an emotional eater and my tendency to overeat has grown over the years. I have the knowledge on what I need to do to lose weight. I've had the motivation off and on as well, but continue to run into obstacles. At the first sign of stress I'm in my kitchen shoveling food into my mouth.

I've tried going it alone, Weight Watchers and the gym. All of these things have worked for me in the past. The biggest obstacle is myself. Life gets too hard so I just check out.

Well, I've had it. It's time to do something about my weight. I've said all of this before, but all I can do is keep trying. Having said that though you may be wondering what sparked the need for change this time around. The answer is simple and nothing I have never said before. I want to be healthy and be able to keep up with my kids. I have a great life, great family and great friends. I want to feel good about myself too!

I went to the doctor yesterday. I spoke with the doctor and asked to be prescribed with Meridia. The doctor agreed and wrote the prescription. I filled it right away. You're probably wondering what Meridia is. It is an orally administered agent for the treatment of obesity, as an appetite suppressant. The prescription itself is very expensive when you don't have a drug plan. My hope is that the pills combined with the knowledge of how much I'm paying for the prescription will give me that much needed kick in the pants. The hardest part is always starting a routine and sticking with it even when life gets stressful.

The pills are not a quick fix. I still have a long road ahead of me with a lot of work to do. I'm going to lay it all out there. As of this morning I weigh 241.4 lbs. I have four goals for the next month:

• Weigh ONLY once a week. My weigh day is going to be Sunday mornings.
• Eat more fruit and vegetables. I've already gone grocery shopping and pre-sliced the fruit and veg. I find it much easier to choose healthier food when it's already prepared for you.
• Walk at least 30 minutes everyday. I've been quite stagnant lately and need to get back into some sort of exercise routine. I will increase the intensity as time goes on.
  
• Stay encouraged even when progress is slow. If I slip up, I won't use it as an excuse to eat MORE food.
  

Thank you for reading and for your encouragement in the journey we call Life. I hope to write every day or every couple of days. Stay tuned for more updates and please feel free to leave comments. I enjoy hearing from all of you.

eLLe