Back in Full Swing

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Hullo my luvs! I'm back on track. I took a week off to recover from a heavy period. I'm feeling a lot better now, although it still took a lot to get my butt in gear and workout tonight. Thankfully I met up with a friend tonight and we had a venting session. Sometimes that's all a girl needs is a good vent to release some of the stress from daily life.

I started the KISS Total Body - a workout from Becoming a Beautiful Badass. I enjoy the total body workouts instead of focusing on upper/lower. I'm used to the previous program I was following so this will take some getting used to. Here is tonight's workout and then I'll explain more:

Barbell Squat:

2 sets of 65 lbs x 5 reps

2 sets of 45 lbs x 10 reps

NOTE: It's a bit of an adjustment doing all heavy sets to splitting it with heavy and light sets. I almost feel like it's too easy. I'm sure if you ask me tomorrow I'll tell you I can really feel it.

Standing Overhead Press:

2 sets of 55 lbs x 5 reps

2 sets of 45 lbs x 10 reps

Pull-ups: 

2 sets x 5 reps

2 sets x 10 reps

NOTE: I'm still working on getting new equipment and I'm still not strong enough to lift my body weight. My solution is to stand on a box, grab a beam, pull with my arms (as much as I can) and lift with my knees. So far it seems to work well - I feel quite weak by the 10th rep. 

For the most part I'm on track, I still have my moments or bad days. The last time I weighed myself I was at 228.6 lbs! I can't tell you how great it feels to be under 230 (and not by just 0.02 lbs). I've asked my husband to hide the scale for 2 weeks. I'll weigh next on August 8th but progress pics I'll wait for a full 4weeks and post around August 22nd.

My goal is to weight train 3 times every week and to add 1 or 2 days of hill sprints. I'm reluctant to do hill sprints because I'm afraid to look foolish. When I weight lift I'm at home in my basement...hill sprints means the public...it's silly I know. I have to get over myself and just do it. Funny how that one sentence holds so much truth for my life. I really need to take my own advice and put it into practice in many areas of my life, but that in itself is a whole other post. 

Something to Smile About

Well, I promised that I would tell you all how my trial with Yaz goes. So, just a quick note to keep you all up to date. 

I have to say things are better. I still had a few bad days but overall life is manageable again! I'm nearing the end of month 2 so I'm feeling confident that this is the solution for me. I've also started exercising again which can only help with my PMDD symptoms. My caffeine consumption overall is a lot less too. I know I'm not "cured" by any means.

I'm just happy that I can enjoy life more! Life isn't much fun when you're angry all the time. For now, I'll leave you with a fun song by Lily Allen. Until next time! Enjoy!

More on PMDD - Yaz It Up!

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Well, I finally did it; I met my mum-in-law's doctor. The doctor seems nice enough and I found it easier to talk to a female doctor about my PMDD. Although, I did have to explain what it was - which kind of caught me off guard. You expect a doctor to just know everything which is totally unrealistic, but we still expect it. 

I should have gone in there with a definition of PMDD because I'm sure I missed something. She thinks I should be on anti-depressants, but I stressed that I do not have benefits. So, we're going to try me on Yaz birth control for 3 months. I'll go back to see her in 2 months to see how things are going. I guess she'll decide at that time if she wants to officially take me as a patient. She said she'd take me on for now. I have no idea what that means, but I'll take it since I currently have no doctor. Besides she gave me 3 months of trial packs of Yaz - free!

It still amazes me that medical professionals don't believe certain illnesses/disorders do not exist because there is no blood test to prove it. It's like Fibromyalgia - a lot of doctors still think it's in a patients head. With PMDD they think it's just PMS. 

I tried to explain that my symptoms are only surrounding my period. The week or so before to a few days after my period. My "normal" time I'm relatively happy and thankful for my life. How is that depression? Isn't depression ALL the time? Not just surrounding your period? 

Now, I know there's no miracle cure, but I'm feeling hopeful to actually be trying something to relieve my symptoms. I've read a lot of information on Yaz. Yes, even the lawsuit stuff about how the commercials are misleading women to think that all of their symptoms will be gone. I never expected they'd all be gone and I still don't expect Yaz to "cure" me but if it helps relieve some or most of my symptoms it's worth a try isn't it? I've also read a lot of comments on other women's success/failure with Yaz. Looking at them as a whole it seems the women Yaz didn't work for generally have problems with any birth control pill. I know it's been many years since I've taken anything but I don't recall any trouble when I took birth control before.

I've also read how many women developed PMDD after getting their tubes tied, which is when mine started as well. When I mentioned this to the doctor she dismissed it since tubaligation does not affect your hormones. Now, I admit I always had bad periods (at least at the time I thought they were bad). They always lasted the full 7 days and they were always heavy (again what I thought was heavy at the time). 

I have a theory. My theory is that it is ALL related. I mean I started my period shortly before my 9th birthday and I'm now 30. I've had 3 babies and had my tubes tied. Add to that my weight. You put all of those things together and I think the tubaligation threw my body out of whack. When many women go through similar things I don't think a doctor can discount it just because the procedure itself doesn't affect hormones.

Doctors are smart, but diagnosing an illness is not the same as living with it. Ask the husband of any PMDD affected woman and he'll tell you this is not regular PMS. Ask the children of moms with PMDD. 

- sigh- 

My poor kids. I wonder if they think I hate them. It seems I'm always so frustrated with them. All I ever do is yell (or cry for that matter).

TO ALL THE DOCTORS OUT THERE:

PMDD exists! I don't care how many of you try to pawn it off as depression. This is not depression. Anti-depressants will only help so much. You can't treat just one of the symptoms. You have to treat it for what it is. It IS Premenstrual dysphoric disorder. Try to listen to your patients. Don't roll your eyes. Broaden your horizons and maybe read up on an illness/disorder you don't know much about. That is the best way to truly help your patient.

I know my thoughts are kind of all over the place, but hey that's how my brain works. I will keep you posted on how things go with Yaz. For now, I've got to kick my butt into high gear. I've got a wedding to go to! I leave Thursday morning and I haven't started packing yet. I did pull out the suitcase which is usually half the battle. Have a great day. 

Oh and my new mantra.... Let Go - Let God. When I get super stressed out I repeat this to myself.So, my friends do not worry about anything - Let Go and Let God.

PMDD - Warning - Female Topic Below

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Well, I've been slacking with my writing the last couple of weeks. I'm just now starting to feel better, but I'm still really tired. I think my iron may be low again. I have a list of things to blog about now, but haven't had the mojo to write. I figure since I know why I haven't been writing that I'd start there.

I'm not a fan of labels. I find often when we label something we start using it as an excuse. For a long time I just thought I was depressed and just had a bad period. I always had a bad period or at least at the time I considered it bad. Then after Riley was born I had my tubes tied. Everything was fine until February 2008 when I became extremely depressed. I didn't want to get out of bed, I was so tired all the time. I kept it all to myself and got out of bed everyday, not much choice when you have kids. I was there physically but emotionally not so much.

It wasn't until I got my period twice in the shortest month of the year to realize it was all related to my period. That's when I was first diagnosed with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder also known as PMDD. We talked about methods to help counteract the symptoms and decided on anti-depressants. I was to take them for two weeks a month - the week before and the week of my period.

This helped get me out of the worst of my funk but by June I changed jobs and no longer had benefits and couldn't afford the medication. So, I started exercising. At first I was just going on walks and then I started biking. In September things got bad again, mostly I had my emotions in check, but I was so physically drained. I found out my iron was really low and it's no wonder with periods as heavy as mine. So, I started taking iron supplements and this helped a lot. 

I was exercising and my period was still very heavy but I only seemed to have about one really bad emotional day the week before my period. For a while things were okay until I got a flat tire, then my bike got stolen and then it was winter. I kinda lost momentum after that. Since then I've been battling getting into the swing of exercising again.  Mostly, I've ignored the problem hoping it'll all just go away.

Lately it seems it's worse again. I start to get really emotional about a week before my period. When I say emotional I mean it's really bad. I'll cry for no reason. The kids will annoy me. I'm angry all the time and honestly can't tell you what I'm mad about. Then of course are the times I do get mad for a reason and I'm like a wild hurricane destroying everything in its path.

I've started to read more about PMDD. I've found some really great information from real women who are also affected by it. Some, use birth control to help regulate their periods. Some use anti-depressants or a combination of both. There is no cure but some women have been able to manage their symptoms well. Others are just trying to make it through the day. 

One big suggestion is to eliminate caffeine as it adds to the irritability.If you follow my blog at all you know how much I love my espresso drinks. So, I researched some more hoping it was just one opinion. Alas, it's a majority. I love my espresso, but I've decided not to completely ignore the facts. I'm no longer going to drink any Red Bull and I'm limiting myself to 1 cup of espresso a day. Now I admit MY cup of espresso is more like a bowl, but the caffeine equals 2 cups of regular coffee. I may continue to decrease my consumption but I love my java!  I'm just not ready to give it up completely. 

Let me break down a typical month for me with PMDD. About a week before my period is due I become extremely emotional. I'm overly sensitive to everything and very easily frustrated. Some months that part lasts only a day, other months the degree varies from day to day but ultimately stays until the last day or two of my period. Also, during this week I find it hard to sleep. I stay up much later than I should. Then I actually get my period and day one isn't too bad, but day two is very heavy and painful. By day three I literally do not want to get out of bed, all I want to do is sleep. I'm completely exhausted and in pain and I have my period for the full 7 days. Finally, my period is over and life starts to get back to normal. Well, as normal as my life gets.

So, that's my story. Ultimately, I know exercise alleviates a lot of my emotional symptoms. I've started going for a walk/jog at night after the kids are in bed. So far this week it seems to be going well. I'll let you know how it goes. When I've got some time I'll add a page dedicated to PMDD and some of the links I use.