Where's Waldo?

I've come to realize that I've been over thinking this whole blog thing again. I find when my mind is in chaos I avoid writing. I guess I'm tired of telling the world that I'm a complete mess. I want a happy, positive, exciting blog where people will read it and talk about it. In reality, I want people to talk about me and say good things about me. Ah, the ego is such a fickle thing.

The truth is this, I enjoy writing. I first started this blog for myself and if it helped someone else that would be a great bonus.

The past couple of years have been a time of self discovery. I wish I could say that I have all the answers or even some answers for myself. I truly don't have any answers. In some ways I wish I could go back to when I thought I knew what I wanted out of life. I really thought all I wanted was a stable job, decent hours, stat holidays off. I thought that would be enough for me. What I'm discovering in this journey is that I need more. This is causing me some guilt. Why can't what I have now just be enough? I am truly blessed with an amazing husband and three healthy unique children whom I love dearly. But even this isn't enough. And that makes me feel like a horrible person. If I'm really honest I'd also admit that my spiritual life is in dire straights. At my core I know what I believe, however, I have a nonexistent spiritual discipline. I come up with plans and ideas but have no follow through. I crave a relationship with God and yet I do nothing about it. Again, with the guilt.

So, there you have it. The whole ugly truth. I started this blog to vent my crazies and somewhere along the line I decided people wouldn't want to read about all my mad ramblings. I've become hidden in this bubble of trying to please others and worrying about someone taking offence. Well, I will still try not to be blatantly offensive. I wouldn't want to hurt someone on purpose, but this blog is called Being Elle. It's time to find her again.

Wish me luck!



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I Once Was Blind....

As you know I've been following the Isagenix program and I've lost some weight. I've lost 35 lbs to be exact! The thing is I haven't felt like I've really lost that much. That is until I came across some pictures from my birthday last November.

I guess being so big for so long I still see myself as 35 lbs heavier even though I know I've lost this weight. And a big part of that is also because I've struggled along the way. I have to constantly remind myself that I didn't gain an extra 100 lbs overnight by creating good habits. It's going to take time for me to develop better habits. I made it this far and haven't included regular exercise (although it's always on my to do list).

I've decided to show you what I can finally see. Although, I admit that this is really difficult for me to put out to the vast interweb. I feel like I need to. I need to show you the progress I've made. If only to record this moment in time for myself.

I've still got a long way to go, but I'm going to give myself this moment in time to just be proud of myself for getting this far.

Way to go me! 

Birthday pictures from November 2013 compared to Progress pictures June 2014

This is what I've accomplished in 3 months. My next three months my focus will be more on getting fit. I've signed up for some super intense training. I'm really excited and completely terrified, but I'll share more about my new fitness regime soon! 

Ground Hog Day

Well, it looks like I've gone and done it again. I've left you all hanging. I think I've figured it out though (by it I mean me). Do you remember the old adage "if you don't have anything nice don't day it at all"? I haven't had a lot of nice things to say lately so I've kept to myself. In fact, I haven't spent a lot of time on social media either.

I have to say the past couple of years have really grown and stretched me. I've learned a lot about myself and my goals. There's still a long way to go, but honestly who can say they're finished? Have you accomplished your perfect self? Yeah, I didn't think so. We're works in progress and under construction.

All of this to say....

Hieeeeeeeeeeeeee!

If you've kept up with Being Elle at all, you may remember that I started a program called Isagenix on March 6. Through this process I've given up my favoritest thing in the whole wide world. No, not my kids....I gave up coffee. I've had one cup at a family dinner at the beginning of May, but other than that, no coffee. I dropped it cold turkey too. It's funny, when it's the right time to do something it can be extremely easy. I don't have any explanation as to how I've done it short of it was the right time and this is coming from a now former coffee junkie.

Okay, so here it goes...the good, the bad and the ugly.

When I started this journey on March 6, 2014 I weighed 267 lbs. This is the heaviest I've ever been and it scared the hell out of me. (I may have gone up to 270 but I hadn't weighed myself regularly.) After my first month following Isagenix I lost 20 lbs. It was fantastic.

And then I hit an emotional wall. I still maintained my weight and lost a pound here and there, but I really wasn't following the way I wanted to. What I did do, however, was reach out to my Isagenix team for support and while I still struggled it definitely helped get me on the right track. I'm overweight for a reason. I didn't put this weight on with good eating habits now did I? And I certainly didn't put this weight on overnight. I need to cut myself a little slack and just keep trying.

As of this morning, I have lost 33 lbs! I've reached one of my biggest goals which was to get below 235 lbs. I was at 235 lbs for a long time until I got pregnant with my daughter (who's almost 7 years old). Now, I've got to work on my self image. I still see myself as 267 lbs. Losing 33 lbs doesn't feel like very much, and yet - it's 33 lbs!

I'm so very thankful for the people around me who support me and encourage me along the way. My family definitely deserves a prize for putting up with me! I think what scared me the most was when people started telling me I was an inspiration to others. Who? Me? No way! Now, I am completely an extrovert, so my reaction was a surprise to me. I've always wanted to be an inspiration to others, but to actually be an inspiration was and is totally terrifying. I think that's why I decided to come out of social media hiding and start sharing my journey again. It's like I'm Punxsutawney Phil poking his (or in my case her) head out. I'm not going to let my shadow scare me back into hiding even with whatever bumps and bruises I may run into along the way. I'm here to stay.

We're getting a group together to do a 30 day challenge to get ready for summer. If you're at all interested I invite you to email me or check out the Facebook page Summer Ready in 30 Days. There's a great group of people to support you!

What have you got to lose other than pounds and inches?

* Enroll with a 30 Day Isagenix Cleansing and Fat Burning System (or equivalent) or have equivalent system on hand prior to May 31 (to start June 2) or June 5 (to start June 9) - you must have active membership. Takes 2 to 3 days to receive product.*

Happy Mother's Day!!!!!!!!

Good morning! Happy Mother's Day!

Spring has finally sprung, my furnace is finally off and it's a beautiful day.

On this Mother's Day, I'm grateful for so many blessings. I have an amazing husband who loves me even when I'm completely hormonal and irrational. I have three very individual children who are healthy and show me they love me every day. I have an amazing church family who I can lean on through the good and bad.

I have a mom who faithfully prays for me and supports me in all that I do. She's always just a quick message or phone call away! And she's a pretty great Gramma too! I love you Mom!

On this Mother's Day, I pray that you have an amazing day. For those who do not have children or who've lost loved ones: it is my prayer that you have a day filled with joy and happy memories.

Happy Mother's Day!

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