A Lifetime of Searching

Happy Canada Day!

Well, I've gone and done it now. I'm all wired up and need to rant! As you know I've been in this personal funk. I've been in it for so long now it's getting hard to remember what having hopes and dreams felt like. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ready to end it all or anything so dire. I have a pretty fantastic life, but as I mentioned before there's a big hole in my life that I can't seem to fill.

Let's see, where to begin. So, at 17 I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was positive that I would be a reporter. It had been strongly suggested by my high school guidance counselor that I go into journalism and not only did it seem like I had an aptitude for it, but it also fit with my interests. I did a co-op placement at the local newspaper and loved it.

However, journalism in college was a completely different ball game and I realized this was not what I wanted to do. I stuck it out and passed...barely. I did find that I had a knack for layout and design so after a maternity leave contract ended I decided to go back to school once again.

This time I took web design. I rocked that course. I did so well I ended up tutoring other students in my own class. But when I had to face the real world I didn't have the confidence in myself or what I could do and I didn't put a lot of effort into my job search. I did some small business websites for friends, but that was about the extent of it. Web design also took a crazy turn for the dynamic and I was lost in the wilderness. I'm good with design, not so good with learning new languages.

So, I entered the technical support and customer service world and stayed at call centers for the most part over the next 12 years. Once you're in a call center type job it's really difficult to get back out. A couple of years ago, my technical support contract ended and I was able to get into the Second Career program through Employment Ontario.

I ended up taking the Addictions and Community Service Worker program at Everest College. I learned a lot through this program. I was a leader in my classroom. I made really decent marks and when I graduated I was certain that I would be able to find a job this time. I had self-confidence and the perseverance to apply, apply, apply. What I hadn't counted on was a lack of opportunities for full time work in the field. I admit my teacher did tell us over and over again this is not the field to be making a lot of money, but I did think I could find something full time.

I bought into the Second Career hype that over the next five years social service and community service workers were going to be in high demand. There's a demand all right. A demand for casual, part-time employees with no real hope for more.

Social and Community Service Workers Regional Trend

After a year of looking and only being able to get casual part-time work I threw in the towel. Yes, maybe I did give up too easily, but I was heart broken. I'd finally found my passion. I'd finally found what that I felt I'd been called to do. Being a leader in the classroom just doesn't translate to the real world of job searching.

Knowing what you're good at doesn't promise you a job. Maybe this is coming off as conceited but I promise you this is not about my ego. For the first time in my life I've had a glimpse of what I've been missing throughout my entire employment history. This glimpse has taken what I thought I knew and thrown it out the window. I thought that all I ever really wanted was to have a stable job with normal daytime hours and weekends off. And maybe there was a time that would have been enough for me, but I caught that glimpse of more and I can't seem to let it go.

The question is, where do I go from here?

Do I go back to school again, only this time go big or go home and try the university route? I have to admit I'm quite gun-shy about going back to school. How many stories have you heard about recent graduates not being able to find jobs? I know I've heard plenty and I've experienced a few myself. Plus, there's the whole issue of how would I afford it even if I could get in.

Do I attempt entrepreneurship and start my own company? There's a lot of risk there and an initial investment that, let's face it, I don't have. Plus, I have a family to support so is the risk really worth it?

Do I stay where I am even though I feel like I lose another piece of myself everyday? I have decent hours so I can enjoy my evenings and weekends. Except that I'm left so drained at the end of the day I don't really enjoy my time off. Oh, but don't forget the old adage "at least I have a job".

Do I put myself through the humiliation of another job search? I'm a Jane of all trades and master of none. Have you ever tried to look for a job but not known where to even start?

So, I have options. (Insert eye roll here and sarcastic "yay".) Maybe we should be teaching our children that the ideal dream job just isn't out there. Find a job that you can stand, one that doesn't take away who you are, pays the bills and is just...good...enough.

Don't worry, I know that's ridiculous and jaded. Believe me, I want my kids to pursue their dreams and to actually be able to surpass their own imaginations! But I also want my kids to see that I've done everything I possibly could to accomplish my own dreams no matter how terrifying they may seem.

~End Rant~

Looking to Interview a Social Services Worker

Happy Thursday Folks!! As some of you may recall, I'm in the process of trying to go back to school. After some soul searching, back in May, I decided I wanted to go back to school. I've been working on doing just that ever since. Ontario Employment Insurance has a program called Second Career. There's a lot of work involved to get an application sent to the Ministry of Training, Colleges and Universities (MTCU). It's now crunch time and I'm having some trouble. I thought I would do what I do best and that's blog about it and ask you all for help.

I'm registered at Everest College for the Addictions & Community Services Worker program. The Second Career application is to determine if I'm eligible to have the cost of school covered by MTCU. I have completed everything but I'm still missing two informational interviews. The idea is to talk to someone who is currently in the field and to show the ministry that I've done my homework. They want me to see if this is really what I want to take and that getting a job is feasible. 

My first question is are you in the addictions, community or social services field? If you are, can you pretty please email me the answers to the questions below? 

• What skills are required to be competitive in this field?
• What type of training is generally needed to work in this field? Is a certificate or diploma required?
• Has your company ever hired a graduate from Everest College?
• In your opinion, how rapidly is the field growing? Can you estimate future job openings?

Some of you may be wondering how a girl like me comes to the decision of becoming an addictions & community services worker? Well, I took journalism and web design but didn't have the confidence in  myself to pursue those careers. Instead, I ended up at a call center - and if you've ever worked in one yourself you know what happened next - I got stuck. Once you have one call center job, ALL the jobs end up being at a call center. So it's now 11 years later and I'm no further ahead then when I first started out. 

Ah, but that only answers half the question doesn't it? Well. I've been through a lot in my life. I've had a lot of experience living with addictions, from an alcoholic step-father to an alcoholic ex. There have been other situations that I won't get into, but thankfully I've managed to personally only be addicted to chocolate. However, the biggest reason is that I feel "called" to this profession. I feel a real need to help people. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.  

So, I thank you for your help and I thank you for listening! Stayed tuned for tomorrow's Faith Friday. 

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New Beginnings

A lot has happened since my last post. I've wanted to get back into writing, but as usual I get in my own way. Where to begin? Well, I guess I need to go back to February. My contract ended and I joined the ranks of the unemployed. At first it was great, like the vacation I could never afford to take. I was busier in the first couple of weeks than when I was working. That slowed down of course and I started the frantic search for another job. I had 3 or 4 interviews but nothing panned out. Then I hit a wall. I slumped down, way down into the depths of depression. I stopped looking for a job because it just made me feel worse.

Slowly I started to realize I needed a change. I needed a break. I was losing my mind and an opportunity came up to go to a Women's Inspirational Conference. I really wanted to go but didn't think I could afford it. In the end God and some really amazing women made it possible. I was off to Oakville for a night. The road trip was long, but it felt great to get away. There were four of us and a baby. We had a great dinner at Boston Pizza, and then relaxed in the hotel room for the evening. I must admit at first I didn't know what to do or how to just be. I'm so used to always having to do something. My roomie and I chatted for a few hours and I went to bed reading my bible. (Something I always want to do, but never do in reality.)

The next morning I woke early, read a little more in my bible and worked out in the exercise room at the hotel. It was great! The conference was at The Meeting House. Their worship team is AMAZING! The main speaker was Melinda Estabrooks from Full Circle. She was truly amazing, all of the speakers were, but Melinda really touched my heart. She shared her life with us and I found myself really connecting with her as we've been through similar events in our lives.

I realized some things while I was there. I'm really happy with the life I have now. I have an amazing husband that loves me and I have three beautiful, healthy children who drive me crazy. Of course, there are things in my life now I'd like to improve, but ultimately I'm happy. It would seem my past is still haunting me. I thought I'd let go of the past, but I realized I've just been stuffing it down. Sometimes we need to stuff it down until we are capable of really dealing with those emotions and hurts. I don't want to get too deep into it because it's stuff I have to work through on my own privately. The reason I'm getting into any of this is because all of this has led me to where I am right here and now.

The conference was on April 30th. I came home a changed woman. I read my bible every day. I am relying on my Father more. It's funny how everything links together. Our pastor recently spoke about the difference between convinced and convicted. I've spent many years knowing God exists but that's pretty much as far as it's gone. I must say since the conference I've certainly felt convicted! I got ahead of myself again...

When I got back from the conference I decided to go to the EI office to look into their starting your own business program. While I was there I picked up some information about their Second Career program. Later that night while speaking to a friend of mine she encouraged me to look at going back to school. I told her I hadn't really looked into anything and I had no idea what I would do. She suggested computer programming to which I shuddered and said no way. The one thing I did know from my previous job was that I didn't really want to do computer support any longer but I wanted to help people. Being the wonderful friend that she is...she sent me a bunch of links to courses at Algonquin. One of which was the Social Services Worker program. As I read the program and what it entails I was overcome with emotion and I knew I had to look into this further. I later found out a related degree was needed to take the intensive program. I looked at the two year program but was worried how that would affect my family.

I knew part of the Second Career program was to look at at least three colleges so I spoke with Everest and Willis Colleges. When I picture the future I don't see myself working with kids or the elderly. I see myself working with everyone in between and when I think about my past - what I've lived through - I truly believe it's been preparing me for this moment right here - right now.

The first step is to attend a Second Career info session to determine eligibility and suitability. I knew I was eligible, but when I sat down with the career counselor it looked as though my new dream would fail before it even began. You see they use a point system to determine your "suitability". Basically they want to determine if you're marketable as you are of if you need more education. She asked me the questions and I didn't get enough points. I almost started to ball. She explained that the longer I'm on EI the more points I'd get and then from out of the blue she asked me one more question...how many years have I been doing this type of work. I told her I've been doing customer support for more than 10 years and all of a sudden I had enough points! I'm suitable! You reading this may not believe in God, but for me that was truly a moment I swear God nudged her and said "Psst, ask her this one more question..."

Monday I have another session to attend where they go over the workbook to explain how it should be filled out. Once my workbook is completed I meet with a counselor and if they recommend me for the program we send the application off. I'm excited and terrified!

If I'm approved for the Second Career program my schooling will be paid for and I'll be given a living allowance. I've decided my first choice is Everest College because the program they offer is different from the rest and more what I feel called to do. I'll be taking the Addictions and Community Services program. Ultimately, this may lead to me becoming an addictions counselor.

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In other news - I'm participating in the Ottawa Race Weekend tomorrow! I'm doing the 5 km. I've been jogging 2-3 times/week. It takes me about 32 minutes for 3.37 km. I alternate walking and jogging. I predict I will finish the race in 48 minutes. That will be my goal. I  may get out today and do the full 5 km. Wish me luck!! I'll let you know how I did! Now I'm off to pick a playlist!